When you’re single and trying to find love in this crazy world, you’re going to come across people that say and do things that make you go, “Why the hell did I swipe right again?” Since a lot of dates are now via Zoom or FaceTime, you may be finding more things that turn you off. In fact, each zodiac sign has one big online dating dealbreaker. Knowing this can help you figure out who’s really the right match for you or not.
“Astrology can serve as a supportive canon of information as we’re trying to get to know people without all the in-person clues like smell, kinetic energy, and response to touch,” astrologer Kelly Chambers, tells Bustle. “While shelter-in-place is still in order, and we’re not just in a position to find potential partners online but date them online as well, we might as well use all the resources at our disposal.”
According to Chambers, astrology can be used as a sort of “shortcut” to another person’s values and quirks. “While you don’t want to use astrology to pigeonhole someone or make undue assumptions, it can be a fun starting place,” she says. At the very least, talking about zodiac signs can be a good conversation to have on a first date if you run out of things to talk about.
Of course, dating involves more than just Sun signs. As Chambers says, “As an astrologer, I would want to know their Mars, Venus, rising and the Nodes. However, it can still offer some powerful clues to one’s core nature and give you an idea of what you’ll be working with.” So here’s the one thing that will turn off each sign when online dating.
Aries (March 21 — April 19): You’re Not Down For Random Zoom Dance Parties
Aries is known for being spontaneous and energetic and has a tendency to get bored pretty easily. This is a sign that will randomly suggest having a dance party in the middle of your first Zoom date to keep things interesting. If you say that it’s too silly or you keep turning down their suggestions for something fun, it may kill the attraction for them. You don’t have to be up for everything they come up with in the moment, but they do want to be appreciated for their efforts. According to Chambers, “They may have a little less tolerance for someone who can’t support their sense of valor or aren’t up for a ride (whatever that may mean in the era of social distance).”
Taurus (April 20 — May 20): You Jump From One Topic To The Next
Taurus is known for perseverance, groundedness, and appreciation for beauty. When it comes to love, this Venus-ruled fixed sign likes to take it slow and steady. They don’t enjoy too much change or surprises, especially from someone they just met, and will need to know that you’re stable and can provide them with a sense of security. In order to invest any energy into you, they’ll look for signs that you’re anything but. Unlike a sign like Gemini, who can easily jump from one topic to the next, Taurus will only get frustrated. “Too much too soon — when it comes to words, speed and even subject matter — is a dealbreaker for this sign,” Chambers says.
Gemini (May 21 — June 20): Your Conversations Aren’t Engaging Enough For Them
Unlike Taurus, Air sign Gemini is all about change. They need to be constantly intellectually stimulated, or else they’ll get bored, and there’s nothing that Gemini hates more than boredom. Naturally, their biggest dealbreaker is dull conversations. If they’re not enchanted by you or the conversations you’re having, they will lose interest fast. According to Chambers, “The world is their playground, and they tend to like characters, so don’t be afraid to express your personality and keep them guessing a bit.”
Cancer (June 21 — July 22): You’re Not Sensitive To Their Feelings
Cancer is a family-oriented, nurturing, and sensitive sign. When it comes to dating, they look for people they truly connect with and who have values that are similar to theirs. According to Chambers, Cancer will retreat into their shell if they feel like their feelings are being dismissed or diminished. “Their feelings mean a lot to them and are something their friends treasure them for. If they don’t feel like you can be sensitive, or you’re going to judge them as ‘soft,’ that would be a dealbreaker,” she says. Since they’re all about the home, they’ll be curious to see what yours looks like. So, it wouldn’t hurt to spend a little time making sure what they see onscreen is presentable.
Leo (July 23 — August 22): You Judge Them For Trying To Be Insta-Famous
A sign that’s ruled by the sun, Leos are total showstoppers and are filling their Instagram with videos of all the things they’ve done in quarantine. It makes them happy to see all the likes and comments roll in. Even if they do enjoy the spotlight, they’re also very generous, loyal, and kind. According to Chambers, a quick way into their heart is through compliments, and a quick way out is judgment. “This sign doesn’t just want, but needs to be appreciated, loved, and adored for who they are,” she says. Since Leos are Fire signs, they have a ton of energy and live their lives to the fullest. If you’re not a fan of big personalities, judge them, and show coldness towards them in any way, they’ll be done with you.
Virgo (August 23 — September 22): You’re Being Too Much
If anyone’s going to have a long list of dealbreakers, it’s going to be this nit-picky Earth sign. They’re not shallow, but they have high standards. According to Chambers, it may not take much to send a Virgo running, but one thing for sure is they have a low threshold for braggers or conversation hogs. “Because they can get anxious pretty easily, they need well-mannered conversation and will appreciate your sensitivity, appropriate decibel-levels, and of course, good sense,” she says. They don’t like false praise or superficiality, and they don’t like it when people get overly intense or too much. Again, the list can go on and on, but these are the biggest things that turn them off.
Libra (September 23 — October 22): You Curse A Lot
Like most signs, Libra appreciates in you what they like about themselves. For Libra, social graces and etiquette are pretty important, even more so than Virgo. “They’re supremely attuned to the aesthetic value of their surroundings, including you and your screen background, and they appreciate good taste and harmonious conversation that steers clear of blue humor or even too many curse words,” Chambers says. If you mind your manners and put in the same amount of effort as they do, then they’ll keep coming back. However, overly acidic humor and sloppiness with language and style will turn them off.
Scorpio (October 23 — November 21): You Can’t Handle Their Intensity
Scorpio is another sign that will look for reasons not to date you. They value their privacy and only let a few chosen ones in. They love sexual innuendo, dark humor, and can handle and even appreciate brutal honesty better than most signs. According to Chambers, they need to be sure that you can handle their level of intensity. “They feel things to the depths and sometimes beyond,” she says. If there are signs that you’re overly-delicate or lack the sort of passion that will hang with them when the going gets tough, chances are, they won’t invest too much energy into your situation. They’ll know you aren’t the right match for them.
Sagittarius (November 22 — December 21): You’re Too Negative
Sagittarius is the adventurer of the zodiac, so you would think they’d be feeling restless right about now. However, they’re total optimists. If they can’t be out there in the world, they’ll use this time to meet new people and find something fun to do in the meantime. Because of their attitude towards life, any sort of negativity just won’t fly with them. “They love a good joke, philosophizing about life, and learning through experience over words, and will similarly appreciate your sense of humor and openness to the adventure that is life,” Chambers says. If you keep complaining about how being stuck inside sucks and that you’re completely over it, they’ll be completely over you.
Capricorn (December 22 — January 19): You’re Not Patient Enough To Date Them
Capricorns may be known for their hard work and ambition, but they yearn for attention, respect, and love, just like everyone else. They like it when someone appreciates the work they do, and they like feeling important. When it comes to dating, they can be a bit reserved, and patience may be required. They’re still putting extra hours in at work, even during a time when everyone’s at home, and there’s really no excuse to keep pushing back a virtual date. So, the key here is to be chill. “If you’re not willing to put in the time, and you want to break the deal, insult their intelligence or display any level of tackiness,” Chambers says. “They want to make sure you can uphold a level of decorum at their VIP events.”
Aquarius (January 20 — February 18): You’re Trying To Change The Way They Think
Aquarius is the “cool teenager of the zodiac,” according to Chambers. These bright non-conformists want someone with a mind and intellect that matches theirs. They’re not known for being very romantic, will probably take a while to answer your texts, and can even come off aloof. However, it’s not meant to be taken personally, as they respect their partners and value the friendship aspect of a romantic relationship above everything else. “To send them running, misjudge their need for space as being cold and unfeeling and be preachy about anything that the collective has bought into,” Chambers says. In other words, they like feeling ahead of the curve and don’t take kindly to someone wanting them to be like everyone else. It’s either appreciate their opinions or forget about it.
Pisces (Feb. 19 — March 20): You’re Too Closed-Minded
This imaginative and sensitive dreamer of the zodiac puts their whole heart and soul into someone once they feel a connection. Since they’re the ultimate hopeless romantics, they look for that soulmate type of love. According to Chambers, they’re very spiritual and have a “level of attunement to things beyond the five senses.” If you want a chance with them, you have to be open to discussing metaphysical things like intuition or energy. It’s one thing to not believe in psychics yourself, but it’s another to straight-up call someone else’s beliefs in them stupid. If you’re unkind or closed-minded, that will be a huge turn off for Pisces.
Kelly Chambers, astrologer