The worst part was that Nikki wasn’t even surprised.
When *Nikki discovered her husband had been messaging other women online, the worst part was she wasn’t even surprised.
When the American couple first started dating, they had been one of those couples that seem so iron-clad they could survive the apocalypse intact.
But 11 years and three kids later, this was no longer the case – with things between the American couple growing more toxic by the day.
When things first started to go south, Nikki had tried everything to please him.
But now, she no longer had the energy to try to keep the peace.
“He’s just so contradicting and controlling,” she tells Kidspot.
“Any conversation turns into an argument – so now we barely even speak.”
Nikki’s husband had messaged 10 women in 24 hours. Source: Madeline Cox
It started with the phone
Although their relationship is extremely strained, Nikki still noticed when her husband started to bring his phone with him everywhere.
When Nikki says everywhere – she really means it.
There wasn’t a minute of the day when he didn’t have his phone in his hands – including when he showered and went to the toilet.
“But he wouldn’t pull his phone out and open it if I was close by,” she says.
“If I’m sitting by him, he put the phone up close to his face and then tilt it so I can’t see the screen.”
“I found everything”
The longer this went on, the more desperate Nikki became to figure out exactly what her husband was doing on that phone, which made him so protective.
So she hacked into his Gmail account.
“Once I got into his Gmail account, I was able to see all the apps he had downloaded on Google Play,” Nikki explains.
One app immediately captured Nikki’s attention – Plenty of Fish – which is an online dating service.
Nikki opened the app and found her husband’s active profile, alongside an inbox of messages that her husband had sent to 10 women around the country in just 24 hours.
It confirmed her worst fears about the man she had married.
He contacted other women while ignoring Nikki’s texts. Source: Madeline Cox
“I just started shaking”
Scrolling through the messages, Nikki felt vomit begin to rise up in her throat.
She had been prepared to find exactly this, but something about seeing the physical reality of her husband’s infidelity made her sick.
“He told them how beautiful they were. He told them things he wanted to do to them sexually. He had sent pictures of himself and of his ‘manhood’,” Nikki says.
“Some replied back telling him he was cute. Others offered sexual favours in return.
“I just started shaking.”
He also sent his number to other women. Source: Madeline Cox
“That was the worst moment”
All the more heartbreakingly, a lot of the messages had been sent at times that Nikki had been trying to contact her husband.
Nikki realised that her texts had gone unanswered at the same time her husband was responding instantly to these other women.
But the worst moment of all came as she tried to confront him about cheating.
“He responded with nothing but lies – and told me he was hacked,” Nikki says.
“After I showed him screenshots of him sending his number, which is a recent new phone, he blamed me for making him want other females.
“Him telling me I wasn’t enough was so hurtful – I felt betrayed, lost and alone.”
Nikki has filed for divorce. Source: Madeline Cox
“He’s a narcissist. He’ll never understand”
Nikki has since filed for divorce online and is waiting until she can get the money to fight her husband in court.
She says that at this point she has given up trying to change him and just wants to save herself and her kids.
“I’ve been trying to get him to understand right from wrong for almost nine years now,” she says.
“He’s a narcissist. He’ll never understand.
“I just hope that my experience helps all women who are struggling with the same situation.”
*Name has been changed