Putting your #best foot #forward via #dating #apps


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Looking for a Date Before February 14th? Be honest and be specific.

His online dating profile said that he was 5-foot-8.

In his photo, he was wearing a red plaid shirt and had a light covering of stubble along his jawline. He was cute in a rugged, “urban lumberjack” kind of way that’s all too common on the West coast.

For our first date, we decided to grab a coffee at a popular cafe. Earlier in the week, we’d exchanged messages online and bonded over our mutual love of the band A Tribe Called Quest. My hopes were high.

However, when my date stood up to greet me, it was painfully obvious that he was closer to five feet tall – if that. I could also feel his beard scratching against my throat (in the time since his online dating profile had been taken, his facial hair situation had morphed from a light stubble to something better suited for a member of a ZZ Top cover band.) At 5-foot-7 in heels, I towered over him.

This man had lots of things going for him, but by lying about his height, he’d essentially shot himself in the foot. Instead of being excited to see him, I immediately felt disappointed that he wasn’t at all what I was expecting.

Back in December, I was out for drinks with a new gentleman friend and I told him this story.

“That’s crazy. I don’t understand why people feel the need to lie. Isn’t it better to just be yourself?” he said.

Exactly. When it comes to dating, you want people to like you for who you are, not some imaginary, concocted version of yourself — something to keep in mind as we head into the busiest season for online dating.

According to Match Group’s online dating platform PlentyofFish, this past Sunday, January 7 was slated to be the busiest day for online dating in 2018 — with sign ups expected to reach as high as 117,139; a 14% increase from their usual daily signup rate. Historically speaking, this increase in online activity continues until February 14, as singles resolve to find love in the New Year.

If making the most of your dating life is on your to-do list for 2018, here are a few other things you can do to ensure you’re putting your best foot forward.

1. Update your photos

If your appearance has changed significantly since you posted your online dating profiles — for example, you’re now a redhead, not a blonde or your beard has gone from “Drake” to “Gandalf” in the past year — it’s time to post some more up to date photos. Even if that one photo from 2005 really makes your eyes pop, you want people to be interested in the person you are in 2018 — not the person you were 15 years ago.

2. Have a friend review your profile write up. Is it accurate?

Writing about yourself is hard — even for me. When I first made my foray into online dating, I enlisted the help of a group of friends to help me write my profile. Get an outside opinion. Show your profile to a friend of the sex that you’re hoping to attract. Is it an accurate portrayal of who you are as a person? Does it contain any red flags? A good friend will tell you the truth.

3. Take initiative and send the first message

Online dating traffic may be up, but that doesn’t mean that you can just sit back and expect people to come to you. If you want to make things happen in your love life, you need to take the bull by the horns, so to speak. Send the first message. Initiate conversations. Online dating is a numbers game and the more you put out there, the more likely you are to get something back.

4. Be yourself and be specific

Lastly, don’t be afraid to show the world who you are. If your top interests include “obscure R&B bands from the mid to late `90s” and “wandering the aisles of vintage stores looking for the perfect Prince concert tee” — list that stuff in your profile. Being super specific about the things you love will help you stand out from the pack and attract someone who appreciates all your weird and wonderful interests. Also, if this sounds like you, let’s talk.


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