From Women’s Health
You know that feeling when you’re doom-swiping on Tinder? Rolling your eyes at Tinder profile after Tinder profile? Mmhmm.
Yeah, no one wants to be on the receiving end of those eye-rolls, so WH spoke to therapists and dating experts for tips to help you rack up allllllll the right swipes. Because, yes, there’s both a science *and* an art to creating the perfect Tinder profile.
The advice you need to make yours sparkle and shine:
1. Nix the group pictures.
If I had a dollar for every therapist and dating expert who told me this one: Your online dating profile is all about drawing attention to you. Embrace it.
There are two main reasons group pictures should get the ax: “First, group pictures can indicate a lack of confidence, and confidence is crucial in dating,” says Taylor Orlandoni, LMHC, a therapist based in New York. “Second, it’s confusing! People don’t like to feel confused and will move on to a Tinder profile that’s more user-friendly.” Fair enough!
2. Be an editor.
“Viewers are less likely to be overwhelmed when you keep your profile simple and real,” says Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of the forthcoming book, Date Smart. “Nothing stands out more than self-assurance and authenticity.”
In general, keep your bio to a few sentences. If you’re already working with a live profile, try to trim the excess sentences you don’t need to a few essential facts about yourself and what you’re looking for.
3. Clearly state your intentions.
Tinder may have had the rep of a hookup app, but by now, most of us have been invited to a wedding where the starry-eyed couples got their start as two floating avatars on an “It’s a match!” screen. So, if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, don’t be shy about saying so.
“When creating a profile on Tinder, it’s really important to get clear on why you are there in the first place,” says Michelle Gallant, a relationship and dating coach (who met her fiancé on Tinder!). “If you’re there to find a long-term relationship, state that. It will help weed out the people you don’t want to attract.”
For those looking to settle down, Orlandoni says it’s also wise to include more deets on your career, life, and future dreams. “Talking about the future will clue people looking at your profile into the type of relationship you are seeking,” she says.
Alternatively, if you’re hoping to find a purely sexual flame, send the right signals: “Maybe wear red in your profile picture, or write that a commonly known aphrodisiac is your favorite food,” says Orlandoni. “People associate the color red and aphrodisiacs with sex, and so it will point potential suitors in the right direction.”
4. Include some “essence words” in your profile.
When you first set out to write your profile, dating expert and relationship coach Nicole Moore of Love Works Method, recommends honing in on “essence words,” or “adjectives that clearly paint a picture of who you are and what your interests are,” she explains.
Example: Moore, who met her husband on Tinder, started her profile with words like “half-marathon runner” and “entrepreneur” to get righttttt to the point. “Instead of saying ‘I love XYZ’ or ‘I do XYZ,’ just stick with adjectives. They read faster and more interestingly and will make you stand out from the crowd.”
5. Up your photo game.
“Use four to six clear photos that show a range of looks, environments, poses, outfits, and expressions,” says Eddie Hernandez, online dating photographer and dating profile expert in the San Francisco Bay area. “For the best lighting, shoot outdoors in natural light (look for natural shadows for diffused light), take photos closer to sunrise or sunset (for softer lighting), or wait for slightly overcast days (so clouds or fog can soften the light).” He notes that a lack of light or shooting in bright sun can create dark circles around the eyes.
6. Avoid photos with exes (even cropped ones).
Whether it’s your college BFF, cousin, or co-worker, ditch the shots of you with anybody that might be mistaken for an ex. “Remove all doubt and don’t use such photos, even if they’re cropped,” says Hernandez. “People can’t shake off whom the other person might be or what your status is [when they see that.]” P.S. When was the last time you saw someone on a dating app with a cropped photo and an arm slung around them and didn’t mentally file it under “baggage alert?”
7. Include a witty line or two.
“Dating is hard. And striking up fun, witty conversations with strangers is even harder,” says Orlandoni. “To have more engagement on your profile, make it easier for people to strike up conversations with you.”
She suggests trying a popular debate on your profile bio, like: “Do you say clicker or remote?” “Is the show ‘The Office’ better than ‘Friends?’” After all, “people are more likely to reach out when you give them an easy way to communicate,” Orlandoni says.
8. Pick the right colors for your photos.
What’s in a shirt color? A whole lot of subliminal priming, apparently. “Research shows that males tend to find the color red most appealing, followed by blue, green, purple, and black,” Manly says. “Women often gravitate toward potential partners who are wearing shades of gray, black, blue, green, and white.” In terms of colors to avoid, both men and women typically find yellow and brown attire unappealing, Manly says.
9. Know that feedback is a good thing.
Be open to it. “Tinder can be a great feedback mechanism,” says Moore. Take note of what you put out there…and the response you get. Then, make tweaks accordingly.
As you go through the process of refining and updating your profile bio and photos based on the matches you’re getting, Moore suggests sitting down with a notebook and asking yourself some questions like “Is there anything that scares me about finding love? Is there a part of me that might be blocking love or dates due to fear of something bad happening?” Working towards answering these questions can help you figure out what you want to present to put your best (digital) foot forward.
10. Lead with what you *do* want.
No cheaters, unemployed people, liars, loud-mouths, bores…the list goes on. “Leading with what you don’t want, not what you do want, projects that you’re jaded,” says dating expert Channa Bromley, CEO of My Love Gurus, emphasizing that this is not an attractive attribute. Hear, hear.
11. Avoid cliches.
Love the beach, long walks, travel, adventure, and fun? Don’t we all. “It’s hard to stand out when every other person on the app says they love to have fun and travel,” says relationship expert Robin Sutherns, editor at Galtelligence.
Instead, Sutherns recommends being specific about what you enjoy. For instance: “I’ve never heard a song by The Head and the Heart that I don’t like, and thanks to the baking classes I take on weekends, I can make a mean sourdough baguette. If you like playing chess and books by David Sedaris, we’ll probably get along.” This also makes it way easier to start a convo with you!
A genuine, expressive smile can make a world of a difference when it comes to attracting your future S.O. And remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all ideal smile. “For some, it could be a wide-open laugh, but for others, it’s a contained smile or a small smile with barely any teeth showing,” says Hernandez. “Smiles are welcoming and approachable.” In fact, he notes that the number-one pet peeve he receives from female clients is that guys look too intense (read: uptight) in photos and lack a good smile. Noted!
You Might Also Like