Friendship, which is, as Aristotle argued, critical to human well-being, is about looking out for each other, just as it is about taking pleasure in each other’s successes. Maybe your friend and her colleague weren’t friends, in a full-fledged way, but they were, you say, friendly — friendly enough that this older woman shared details of her romantic life.
Would it have made a difference if your friend had said something? There’s no way of knowing. I’m guessing, though, that her colleague would have given more weight to the warnings of a friendly co-worker than to the warnings of parents, simply because most Americans don’t take well to parental interventions in their love lives.
Of course, someone who is in love is not going to be in peak form where rationality is concerned. That’s what these flimflam artists rely on. Regardless of whether it would have changed the outcome, though, your friend should have said what she thought. Romance scams like this one exploit their victims’ loneliness; by keeping her own counsel, your friend was effectively adding to her colleague’s isolation.
I was referred by my primary-care doctor to a specialist group practice for some allergy tests. When I made the appointment, I was assigned to a specific doctor. Had I anticipated that this would be a long-term patient-doctor relationship, I would have researched the doctor’s background, training and such, but since it was just for these tests, I didn’t look up the doctor in advance.
When the doctor walked in, I was taken aback to see that her right arm ended just below the elbow, and several fingers on her left hand were partial fingers. She had a scribe with her to take notes and was able to conduct her various tests, including stethoscope, heart and breathing exams, without issue. She has clearly learned how to adapt.