Sabbit om

Ode to sabbit om

I hate you. I hate you for admitting that you’ve cheated on everyman you’ve been with since you were 20 I hate you for cheating on your ex. I hate you for wrongfully accusing him of rape. I hate you for belittling your co workers when you found out you were given a better opportunity, one that I gave you out of compassion. I hate you for cheating on me. Hate you more for lying about it. Even more for telling me I needed to change jobs, that you’d be there if I did, then humiliating me by cheating with a co worker and forcing my friends to hide it. Then leaving me on valentines day when I said I was thinking of looking for help regarding depression, making me feel sorry for you until you found someone else to sleep with then cutting me off entirely, no explanation, with nothing but manipulative self serving lies. I hate you for causing several men’s girlfriends to cheat on there partners with you. I hate you for realizing that you had a chance to be given a free ride and leaving me in the dust but not before you doubted yourself, asked for me back, introduced me to your family then asked me to meet you. Only then could I hate you for putting me in a spot where your drug dealing boyfriend ridiculed me, insulted my job and every girl in it. Called them “industry girls” hit on every girl but you, including your own sister, choked you out in front of me and proclaimed domamatrix shit! how he said when asked what instrument you played the fucking trumpet. I hate how you sold drugs for him, I hate how you stole from food banks and were proud of it, I hate how you lied to your loving parents about how much money your grampa gave you so you could take more of there retirement. I hate how you couldn’t look at me without taking a hit of oxy ghb and ketamine and then after leaving me out in the cold literally sat in front of me and compared on one hand that you wanted to wait till after summer because our connection was so strong, but on the other hand you felt connected to in your words “such a douchbag” I hate that you dismissed this all like it wouldn’t hurt me, I hate how you said you wanted me in your life forever then never had the courage to face me again even after through a traumatizing effect on me I forgave you said your beautiful and offered my compassion once again. I hate you for your bratty ego that wouldn’t let me be when I asked, I hate you for calling my love a bourdon that no one deserves, for poisoning my mind constantly with selfish contradictory statements that would not only not offer any peace, compassion or closer but leave me more hurt and tormented, then blocking me and cowardly hiding under the excuss that YOU couldn’t handle it. I hate you for making a mockery of everything I find beautiful in this world compassion, comunity, acceptance and honesty, by asking me “why am I a good person, don’t bad ppl get further ahead” then eating from shelters although you have money, sneaking into festivals as to not support the cause meanwhile selling drugs for profit while giving yourself and foodpresents I bought you to a man who good or bad treated me like shit. I hate you for the disrespect you’ve spoke of through the time I knew you regarding your mom, dad, sister and best friend. I hate you for lying to the police and abusing a system you mock and betray to stop me from telling you your own shitty truth. I hate that you can’t look at me because of your own guilt shame and fear but refuse to be anything but a princess brat through you messages and preach any knowledge about claiming responsibility for your actions. I hate you for proving that bad selfish people do have it better and you should be proud to be their queen. I hate you for making me judgmental because every benefit of the doubt I gave your way was false. I hate you for being fake for over a year and claiming to be peaceful and sensitive when your as low, petty heartless and selfish as any woman or man I’ve ever met. I hate you for thinking the world owes you everything when you add nothing but desire, fear, lust, envy, ego, betrayal, and greed.

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