Seduction 101: How To Seduce Your Ex Boyfriend

Welcome to class!

Ok, ok, I know that’s a corny opener but I had to do something to get your attention.

Today I am going to be teaching you about seduction and your ex or more specifically, how to properly seduce your ex.

Oh, and in case you are wondering there is a right way and a wrong way to seduce a man if you want him back.

But before I get into the details around the “right way” I have a question for you.

How powerful do you think sex is to a man?


How can I put this in a way that you will understand.

Well, since I am a man I can tell you that sex is a very powerful motivator for a man.

Sherry Argov said it best,

Before sex, a man isn’t thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex, it reverses. The man is thinking clearly and a woman isn’t.

Notice how I bolded a part of that quote.

It turns out that the part I put in bold is going to lay the groundwork for what I am teaching you in “class” today.

But more on that later.

First I would like to talk a little bit about the power that sex holds over men.

Lets imagine that a man walks into a bar and immediately his eye is caught by a pretty blonde sitting across the way.

In a short span of time he becomes obsessed with her beauty.

Hmm… perhaps I should put a few faces to this picture that I am painting.

Ok, here is the guy,

As you can see this man isn’t exactly the most attractive in the world and he also has a bit of a weird personality (evidenced by the strange selfie he is taking.) All of these factors mean that he hasn’t gotten too many women to have sex with him.

And then you have the girl,

This girl is clearly very pretty.

She can probably have any guy she wants.

Oh, and the most important part of this little example is the weird selfie guy above is absolutely obsessed with her.

Anyways, lets go back to the bar.

Our selfie boy who we are going to call “Greg” decides that the sexual fantasies he is having about this blonde woman are so overpowering that he has to go over and talk to her.

So, Greg and the girl talk.

Now, this isn’t the first Girls rodeo when it comes to being hit on so she does what comes natural to her, she rejects him.

The rejection only makes Greg fall for her even more.

Pretty soon Greg is convinced that he is in love with her and is willing to do anything to get her.

Now, we can debate the merits of if what he is feeling is true love any day of the week but the important part I am getting at here is that he is feeling something and that something is very powerful.

What if I told you that there was a way in which you can leverage this feeling to your advantage when it comes to getting your ex back.

Would you be interested in that?

Well, that is what this entire “lesson” is going to be about.

(Man, I am going crazy with the classroom references today.)

Seduction Is One Small Piece To A Very Large Puzzle

If you are a fan of Ex Boyfriend Recovery then you are probably well aware of my theory on getting an ex back.

I like to think of it as a puzzle.

Any time I write an article like this I am unveiling another small piece of the puzzle.

Of course, things become even more complicated when you take into account that no two situations are like.

For example, a general/common breakup is going to have a certain strategy for success or “puzzle” if you will while a breakup occurring over cheating is going to have a whole new set of rules or an entirely different puzzle.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that you can’t rely solely on this article to help you get your ex back.


Because this article is talking about one specific strategy for ex recovery.

It doesn’t tie everything together the way it needs to be tied together and while seduction can be a powerful strategy to use on your ex to make him fall for you again it isn’t going to do the job alone.

Look, your main goal here isn’t just to seduce your ex.

It’s to get your ex back.

That is the assumption I am operating under and writing for.

In order to properly get your boyfriend back you are going to be required to use a lot more than just seduction.

So, what does this mean?

It means you need a clear game plan that uses multiple strategies including seduction.

If you are serious about getting your ex back then I recommend you check out my PRO system,

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There you will learn exactly how to put the puzzle together .

Anyways, lets move on and just focus on seduction for now.

The Two Types Of Seduction

I bet you didn’t know this but there are actually two types of seduction.

  1. The type of seduction where you just want your ex boyfriend sexually
  2. The type of seduction that can be used in a positive way to get your ex boyfriend back

Which one do you think I am more interested in talking about?

If you guessed the type of seduction that you can use to get your ex boyfriend back then you would be right.

Nevertheless, I think it’s important to understand each type of seduction so you not only understand what to do but what NOT to do. So, for the next thousand words or so I am going to give you a crash course in the good type of seduction and the bad type of seduction.

Let’s start with the bad type of seduction first.

BAD: Seducing Your Ex Boyfriend For Just Sex

(If you don’t understand the meme then allow me to give you a quick lesson on insects. A female praying mantis bites off a male praying mantis’ head after intercourse.)

I am a man so I can tell you in all honesty that my gender as a whole is very motivated by sex.

Look at former U.S. president Bill Clinton.


Actually, I want to test something out.

When I mentioned Bill Clinton (the former U.S. president) what’s the first thing that popped into your head?

The sex scandal, right?

So, here we have a man who has arguably obtained the most power in the world (being in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world) and he is willing to jeopardize all of that power for sex.

It goes without saying that sex is a very powerful motivator in men.

Need more stories to back this fact up?

Ok, look no further than Homers epic poem “The Illiad.

In that poem they talk about Helen, a woman so beautiful that she has been dubbed as,

“The face that launched a thousand ships.”

The story goes that Paris (a prince of Troy) steals Menelaus’ wife, Helen, and takes her to Troy so she can be his.

There’s just one problem…

Menelaus’ brother, Agamemnon, is a super king and uses this opportunity to start a war with the Trojans.

Basically the point I am getting at here is that Paris would have never taken Helen if he wasn’t motivated by sex.

So, by now I bet your a curious as to why I am making such a big deal about the fact that men are very motivated by sex.

Like everything I preach on Ex Boyfriend Recovery there is a method to my madness.

Lets say that you want to seduce your ex boyfriend because you want to sleep with him.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind you figure that since sex is such a big deal to you that he will look at it the same way and grow so attached to you (if you sleep together) that he will come back and you will live happily ever after.

Sorry to rain on your parade but the mind of a man doesn’t work that way.

Let’s let this unfold a bit and assume that you go in trying to get your ex boyfriend to sleep with you.

What do you think will happen?

Well, we know what you think is going to happen.

You think that at some point during your passionate love making session that he is going to have some sort of epiphany.

Something that makes him go,

“Wow, I have to commit to this girl for the rest of my life.”

Well, he isn’t going to have that epiphany but he will have an epiphany.

At some point where he is making sweet sweet love to you he is going to think to himself,

“Wow, I rather like this sex. I want to do it again with her.”

Now, the general reader may read that and think to herself,

“That’s a good think, right?”

Umm… not really.

Think about it for a second.

The fact that your ex wants to have sex with you again means that he is essentially viewing you as a piece of meat that he wants to call upon at any time he wants when his “hunger” needs to be satisfied.

Do you catch my drift?

In other words, he is going to attempt to set up a friends with benefits situation with you.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets turn our attention to how I want you to use seduction on your ex boyfriend.

GOOD: Using Seduction In A Positive Way To Get Your Ex Back

In the section above I went on this super long rant about how sex for a man is a very powerful motivator.

I gave examples of a President of the United States and famous poems where sex was a primary motivator.

So, understanding this why not use a mans motivation of sex to your advantage?

We already know that when you dangle sex in front of a man you can get him to do pretty much anything you want so I definitely think there is a place for this in a “get your ex back campaign.”

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that there are two versions of you.

Each version of you wants to get your ex back.

Version One

Version one of you comes up with the genius idea of seducing your ex boyfriend into bed in an attempt to win his love back.

You think that if you can get him to sleep with you that his feelings for you will come back.

Well, you end up succeeding….

Just not at getting him to commit.

Nope, what you have succeeded in is getting your ex boyfriend to crave sex from you…

That’s it.

That’s all he wants from you.

In other words, you are his new booty call.

Lets turn our attention to version number two of you now.

Version Two

Version two is a bit smarter than version one.

You understand that if your ex boyfriend sleeps with you he will likely put you in a friends with benefits situation. However, you also understand that sex is a very powerful motivator so why not use it to your advantage.

You begin a very smart tactic of almost leading your ex boyfriend on by flirting with him and making him want sex but you never actually sleep with him.

Instead, you leave him constantly chasing you.

Of course, the issue here is that he is chasing you for the wrong reasons.

No worries, there will be a certain point where you take your poker face down and inform him that the only way he can get with you is if he commits (but even then you are going to make him work for it.)

Why make him work so hard for it?

Because the more he has invested in trying to get you the more likely you are to matter to him.

How To Properly Seduce Your Ex Boyfriend

Above I talked about what to do and what NOT to do when it comes to seducing your ex boyfriend if you want to get him back.

Well, in this section we are going to turn our attention to more specifics.

What do I mean by that?

Go back and read the small subsection entitled, “GOOD: Using Seduction In A Positive Way To Get Him Back.”

(It’s literally just above.)

Basically what I am attempting to do in this section is give you a detailed account of the right way to seduce your ex boyfriend. However, in order to do that I need to teach you something.

What’s the something?

I like to refer to it as “Jaws Theory.”

What Is Jaws Theory

Duh Duh…

Duh Duh…

Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh….

Doo Dooo Dooo Doooo Dooo Dooooo…

Ok, I’ll admit that, that was pretty lame but I figured if I started out this section with a bang you would perk up.

Are you familiar with the movie Jaws?

If you aren’t then you might want to invest some time and go watch it because it’s a classic.

In fact, it’s the movie that really put the famous director Steven Spielberg on the map.

The premise of the movie is that there is a gigantic shark terrorizing a small town in New York and three men go out on a boat “shark hunting.”

I won’t give away the ending but I’ll just say that it ends with a bang .

Here’s a little known fact about Jaws.

Did you know that when it first came out it was considered one of the scariest movies ever?


A movie about a shark was considered frightening to audiences around the world.

But did you ever stop to think about why it was so frightening?

The premise doesn’t seem that terrifying and it’s not.

Well ok, maybe it’s a little terrifying but it’s not like there is some sort of zombie apocalypse where everyone is dead.

The truth is that the way it was shot by Spielberg is what made it so scary.

How Was It Shot?

During production of Jaws new director Steven Spielberg told his crew to create a giant robotic shark so he could show audiences a terrifying gigantic shark.

Well, the crew did a pretty good job by creating this,

Pretty cool, right?

Well, there was a problem with it.

Half the time it was on set it wouldn’t work.

In other words, when Steven Spielberg needed the shark to move around and look scary it wouldn’t move around.

So, he was forced to do something unprecedented.

Instead of doing what every other filmmaker out there was doing by showing a scary shark Mr. Spielberg decided that he was going to “tease” the shark.

If you ever get a chance to watch Jaws again I want you to pay attention to how little you see of the actual shark.

Most of the scary parts are not seeing the shark or just a scary fin going through the water with that famous soundtrack playing.

You know, that famous “Duh Duh” score?

Here’s a video depicting what I am talking about,

Pretty frightening stuff, right?

Well, seducing an ex boyfriend the correct way is a lot like utilizing what Spielberg did with Jaws.

How Seduction And Jaws Tie Together

What were the main components that made Jaws so frightening to an audience?

Well, we have the idea of a giant shark killing people.

We have the fact that we hardly get a good glimpse of the shark.

Oh, and then we have the score that really makes you feel like something is about to get you.

So, there are three.

  1. The Giant People Killing Shark
  2. Not Seeing The Shark
  3. The Score

Lets tie these three things into seduction or more specifically how you are supposed to seduce your ex boyfriend the proper way.

How am I going to do this?

Well, I am going to do it in a unique way and I will go very slow on purpose so you don’t get lost.

Above I listed the three main components of what made Jaws such a scary movie. It turns out that these three components can be compared to aspects of seduction.

Do you see the tie in now?

Ok, lets go down the list and compare each component of jaws to the right way to seduce an ex.

The Giant People Killing Shark

In Jaws the whole movie revolves around this shark that is essentially a serial killer (of humans.)

Without this idea the entire movie won’t work.

Well, when it comes to seduction everything always seems to revolve around sex.

So, our giant people killing shark in this case is going to be sex.

It’s going to be the thing that you are going to dangle in front of your ex boyfriend to get him to act the way you want him to act.

Now, we can debate the merits of what I am about to teach you all day but the fact of the matter is that sometimes a little manipulation with sex on your part is necessary to reach your goal which we have already identified as getting your ex boyfriend back.

Giant People Killing Shark = Sex (In Seduction)

Not Seeing The Shark

Above I mentioned that as a result of the mechanical shark not working Steven Spielberg had to get creative with how he would scare audiences.

His idea was brilliant.

He figured that most of the scare lies in the fact that you know the shark is there but you can’t see it.

Go above and watch that video again.

Do you notice how you know a shark is about to bite this girl but you never see the shark?

That’s really what makes Jaws such a frightening movie.

So, how does “not seeing the shark” tie into seduction?

Well, in order to properly explain that I need to do some role playing.

Lets pretend that I am your ex boyfriend and you have decided to use seduction as a method to make me want you back.

(Side Note: Remember, we are looking at seduction as it relates to getting an ex back. In other words, we are looking at the good kind of seduction that you can use.)

I am a pretty stubborn guy so initially after our breakup I flat out tell you that the two of us have no chance of reconnecting at all.

So, you decide to take a course of action that will make me eat my words.

You start flirting with me..

I start flirting with you…

Things begin to get a bit… sexual.

I express my desires and while you don’t express yours you give me just enough flirtation to make me think that you are into me.

Of course, when I start pushing for my “needs” to get taken care of you don’t comply.

This puts me on an endless hamster wheel where I am constantly chasing you trying to be “with you” and just when I think I am about to have you the wheel turns over and I have to start all over again.

Now, the average woman is going to see this tactic as pointless because, and I quote,

“Men should want women for more than just sex.”

But the average woman isn’t taking something into account.

The more the hamster wheel turns over the more invested in winning you back I become.

Pretty soon sex isn’t my only motivation for wanting you back.

I want more than just sex…

I want you.

Do you see how that worked?


This may take some extra explaining on my part so I am going to do my best.

I started this section off by talking about not seeing the shark in Jaws and how it was brilliant way to make audiences more scared of something that they couldn’t see.

Well, in seduction flirting with your ex and almost letting him think that he can have you sexually while not actually giving him “the shark” or sex will put him on an endless hamster wheel where his only way off the wheel is to commit to you.

The key here is the fact that you have to be strong mentally and you can’t give him sex.

Do you understand?

You can NOT have sex with your ex boyfriend until after he commits.

Not Seeing The Shark = Teasing Sex And Not Giving It To Him

The Score

What do you get when you couple a people killing shark that you hardly see with a scary/tense score?

The Answer = A Classic/Scary Movie

What is the movie Jaws known for besides the big shark?

The score, right?

You know the one.

Duh Duh..

Duh Duh..

Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh Duh…

Ok, that was horrible.

Here is a quick video depicting the frightening score,

In Jaws the score is something to magnify the sharks scariness.

It also serves as a way of making you more tense when you don’t see the shark.

For example, whenever the score plays in the movie you know the shark is about to do something bad.

But what is the score when it comes to seduction?

Good question.

In order to understand that we have to take a look back at the last section.

What did I say the last section represented?

Teasing sex to you ex but not actually giving it to him, right?

Well, in seduction the “score” is equivalent to the tactics that you will use to tease your ex.

Flirting is a perfect example.

If you flirt with your ex and indirectly make him think he has a chance with you then the actual act of flirting is what is being done to your ex that make him feel seduced by you.

Score = The Tactics That You Will Use To Seduce Your Ex

Lets talk a little bit about those tactics now.

The Tactics You Can Use To Seduce Your Ex Boyfriend

If you can’t already tell I prescribe to the “less is more” theory.

I mean, look at everything I taught you above about my “jaws theory.” Everything about that theory is predicated on the fact that less is more.

But understanding the theory isn’t going to do anything for you is it?

No, you need the specifics of putting the theory into action.

So, what I have decided to do for you is give you a crash course in the tactics you can employ to seduce your ex boyfriend.

Let’s begin.

The Three Levels Of Seduction

When it comes to getting an ex boyfriend back there are three levels of seduction that I am going to teach you about.

What are these three levels?

Take a look at the graphic below,

You will notice in the graphic that the three levels are,

  1. Light Flirting
  2. Hard Flirting
  3. In-Person Tactics

Lets take a deeper look at each one of these levels.

We are going to start first with “light flirting.”

LEVEL 1: Light Flirting

Contrary to popular belief you don’t have to always talk about sex when you flirt with a man.

Yes, there is going to be a time and a place to allude to sex in some flirtatious manner down the road (see level 2) but when it comes to light flirting sex isn’t in the equation at all.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say that you are single and I am single (which I am not I am married so don’t tell my wife I am saying this.)

Anyways, we are going to pretend that the both of us are single and we both “kind of” like each other.

I would most likely show that I like you by doing the following things,

  • Telling ridiculous jokes
  • Alluding to a future where we would be dating each other
  • Sending videos over text messages

In other words, this is my way of flirting with you.

Oh, and these methods have been rather effective for me so what I am going to do now is give you an example of each of these things.

To make things as easy as possible on me I am just going to give examples of these things through text messages.

Sound good?

Let’s hop to it.

Telling Ridiculous Jokes

The key to this method of flirting is that you have to be serious at first and then somewhere down the line you suggest something that makes the other person go,

“Is he/she serious?”

A common way to do this is to ask for an opinion on something and then progressively get more and more ridiculous as the conversation carries on.

Now, I realize that this is a hard thing to picture but bear with me here because I am going to give you an example of how this is supposed to work.

Ok, now before I start creating a text message graphic I want you to bear in mind that we are role playing under the assumption that the two of us are both single and “kind of” like each other.

Oh, also remember that I am a man.

Got it?


Lets pretend that one day you are sitting at home enjoying yourself and I send you this series of text messages,

Now, these messages clearly aren’t meant to be taken seriously.

They are meant to make you laugh.

What I am trying to do by sending them to you is show you that I have a goofy sense of humor and also show you that I am not like one of those uptight guys out there.

Not to mention, everyone loves to laugh every now and then.

Lets move on to another fun little tactic.

Alluding To A Future Where We Are Dating Each Other

Another thing I would probably do is allude to a future where we are dating each other.

There are a number of ways I can do this but I think I am going to stick to this classic,

Let me give you a bit of background on this one.

Lets pretend that you and I are texting back and forth for a little bit.

During this texting session we have built up some pretty great rapport.

Then all of a sudden out of the blue I ask you if you have ever been to Hawaii.

You know that place right?

Tropical paradise?

Ultimate vacation for couples?

Well, I have actually been to Hawaii in real life and I can tell you that it is one of the most amazing places on earth.

Anyways, if you study the text above you would notice that I am alluding to future where we are dating and I take you to the beautiful destination.

Why is it important to allude to the future?

Because it makes YOU paint a mental picture in your head of that future.

Imagine if you did something similar to your ex.

If you get him in the habit of painting a future with the two of you together.

Lets move on to the final way of flirting, sending videos.

Sending Videos Over Text Messages

This is something I personally used to get my wife.

When we exchanged numbers for the first time I did something unique.

Something that she probably hadn’t ever seen before.

Rather than sending her a generic text like,



“What’s up”

I decided to go against the grain and try to stand out.

I sent her a video.

Remember, at this point in our relationship we didn’t know each other very well.

My video to her was simply an introduction video where I introduced myself again (even though we had been “talking.”)

This proved to be a really smart move since I really stuck out from the pack of all the hungry wolves trying to get her and she told me down the line that she really enjoyed the videos.

I look at flirting like I look at a job interview.

It’s all about taking a unique approach that the person has never seen before.

For example, if you are going to try to get a job then it’s all about bringing something unique to the table that can secure you the job.

Lets pretend that you are going out for an interview for a sales job.

What are you selling?

How about a cell phone plan.

Now, if you were going out for a sales job to sell a cell phone plan then you can do what all the other candidates do at the interview and maybe have a chance.


Before the interview you can go out and actually make a few sales or line up a few leads that you can leverage during the interview.

Something tells me an interviewer is going to be more responsive to an interviewee that has already made sales of their product versus the other average joes that are just sitting there answering questions.

Look at the videos you send through text messages like your pre-made sales.

It’s going to be something unique that your ex isn’t used to.

LEVEL 2: Hard Flirting

Before I dive in to hard flirting I want to explain this process a little better.

If you refer to the graphic above where I talk about the three levels of seduction you will notice that there are indeed three levels.

I want you to view each of these levels like rungs on a ladder.

So, the three levels are,

  1. Light Flirting
  2. Hard Flirting
  3. In-Person Tactics

I decided to create an infographic so I can properly explain my ladder theory.

Notice how the bottom of the ladder is (light flirting) while the top of the ladder is (In Person Tactics.)

The idea here is to climb the ladder to get to the top.

But the only way you can actually climb the ladder is to complete each task.

Look below for an idea of how this works,

So, right now we are talking about (hard flirting) which puts us smack dab on the middle rung of the ladder.

The point I am trying to make here is that you can’t advance to (hard flirting) until you compete (light flirting.)

As I explain how to flirt “hard” I am going to be operating under the assumption that you have already completed the light flirting teachings I talked about in level 1 above.

The Idea Behind “Hard Flirting”

This is really where you take advantage of the “less is more” idea that I talked about with the Jaws Theory above.

How do we do that?

Well, there is a way to do it through text messaging and through the phone.

I am going to teach you both.

Lets start with the text message first.

Imagine that you send your ex the following message,

Lets break this down for a moment specifically the “old childhood bedroom” part.

The whole bit about the bedroom clearly relates to sex.

In other words, in this fake example you and your ex boyfriend had sex in his old childhood bedroom.

But why would you bring it up to him in a text message?

It seems counter intuitive to everything I have taught you in the Jaws theory doesn’t it?

Well… not exactly.

When a woman talks about sex with a man the man is naturally going to get excited.

Lets go back to that quote that I quoted at the beginning of this article.

Before sex a man isn’t thinking clearly…

We are going to leverage this fact.

We already know that men love talking and imagining sex.

So why not talk to him about it a little bit in the form of alluding to a time when the two of you had sex?

Here’s the part that gets tricky though.

Once you have engaged him in the sex talk I want you to completely leave the conversation.

This is going to accomplish a few things.

Firstly its going to make him think he’s gods gift to the world.

“She’s still thinking about me in “that way”” he will probably think to himself.

But right when his ego becomes super inflated you are going to take that ego boost away by just exiting the conversation.

He is going to sit there fishing for more when there is no more to be had.

The result is him constantly trying to figure out why you brought up sex that one time which leads him to chasing you.

Now I want to talk to you about hard flirting and phone calls.

“Hard Flirting” On The Phone

This is a little trickier because you can’t exactly duck out of the conversation immediately if you are talking about sex over the phone.

So, the trick here is to be really subtle about sex if you do decide to approach hard flirting over the phone. Once the big S word is brought up then I want you to wait a good 5 minutes and then suddenly have to go.

In other words, I want you to lightly get his engines all revved up and then leave him with nothing.

As a man I feel I can shed some light on this topic.

Lets say that a man and a woman are talking about sex on the phone.

The sex talk starts turning more sexual and pretty soon the man is pretty turned on.

“I want her so bad” he is thinking to himself.

But then right before he has hit the point of no return the girl tells him this,

“Oh my god… I have to go. I’ll tell you later. Bye..”

This leaves the man all hot and bothered with no… “outlet” to release.

Now, here is the secret that men don’t want women to know.

Men often call a woman who does this a “tease.”

The truth is that men love a tease.

You don’t see too many men chasing a woman who is easy now do you?

But a tease…

A man will chase until the end of time.

If you are going to use a phone call for “hard flirting” then I definitely recommend using this tease method.

LEVEL 3: In-Person Tactics

Finally we have reached the top of the ladder.

In-person tactics…

Seducing an ex boyfriend in person is a bit tricky because a lot of women who do reach this point get caught up in the moment and take the seduction all the way.

Now, if you refer to the Jaws Theory section above you would know that the method of seduction that we are teaching here is that you are allowed to do anything except any form of sex.

Let me repeat that for some of my more adventurous readers.

Under no circumstances can you engage in any form of sex with your ex boyfriend.

The idea here is to kick start his emotions for you so he is constantly chasing you. In other words, we are going to be playing cat and mouse with him and sex is probably the one thing that you have to leverage over him.

The second he has you he has no reason to chase you anymore.

I know that may be a harsh thing for you to hear but it’s the truth.

Anyways, lets talk a little about the methods of seduction I want you to employ to really “rev him up.”

Seduction Dress Code

I want you to dress sexy any time you see him in person.


Because men are very visual creatures and we are going to use this to our advantage.

Now, I want you to note that there is a difference between dressing sexy and dressing too sexy.

You want to know this line very well because if you dress too sexy then he is going to perceive you that way and we actually do want him to be able to listen to you while on the date instead of just staring at your bosoms.


Perhaps it’s best if I give you an example.

Ok, here is an example of someone dressing TOO SEXY,

This is a big no-no.

Instead, you should shoot for something like this,

Notice how this outfit is much more sophisticated looking.

This is what you should be shooting for on the date.

(FYI I personally find it sexy so that’s a plus.)

Acting Flirty

I’ll admit that I went to my wife for this one.

I got a little stuck on the in-person tactics.

It’s ok though as always she was there to help me out of a jam.

When I asked her,

“How do you seduce a man without actually having sex with him?”

Her genius advice was…


Be Flirty


“How the heck do you do that?” I asked her.

She had the answer within a millisecond.

As it turns out there are a few things that women can do to be flirty to their ex boyfriends.

The first thing is rather simple.

You are going to make eye contact.

It seems simple right.

But there is something fascinating about eye contact.

It’s almost like eye contact has a direct correlation to passion.

The more eye contact you make the more passionate the encounter.

So, we definitely want to use eye contact to our advantage with your boyfriend.

Another thing that you are going to want to do is to play with your hands.

Little touches here and there can be very effective.


Perhaps I should demonstrate this.

Ok, imagine that you and I are on a date.

You are doing a good job with your eye contact and you decide you want to step up your game by using your hands. Well, what you would do to accomplish this would be to lightly touch me when you could. For example, if we were eating dinner at a restaurant you would an excuse to “accidentally” touch my hands or shoulder or face.

Get it?


Cutting The Contact Off Early

Another effective tactic you can use to really “rev your ex up” is to cut the date off early.

Why is this effective you ask?

Easy, once you have your ex on the hook wanting sex and you cut the date off early what do you think is going to happen?

He is going to chase you, right?

(Hint Hint: you want him to chase you.)

From there consider him fully seduced!

View full post on Ex Boyfriend Recovery

15 thoughts on “Seduction 101: How To Seduce Your Ex Boyfriend

  1. Chris Seiter

    Hi There,

    Sorry for the late response. Theres only one of me and there are millions of you so it can be tough sometimes.

    How can I help you?

  2. Lisa

    Hi Chris,
    I just found your website yesterday & I can’t seem to read & re-read enough of your information. I am on board 100% however my situation is a bit different. I have been off & on with my boyfriend (I am 42 & he is 44) for almost 3 years now. We are both divorced & have children from our previous marriages & they all get along fine. Our problem is that he ONLY wants our relationship to go “so far” more specifically, he outright REFUSES to include me with any of his extended family (His parents, brothers & their families) He won’t take me to any of their get-together’s & holidays are completely out of the question. When I have questioned him, its the same old excuses “He’s not ready for that step” “He was married for 22 years & his nephews & niece only knew his ex-wife” (although hes been divorced for 4 yrs now) yet, he claims that everyone in his family knows hes been seeing me. Personally I believe that he has no intentions of a future with me & that is why he has not & will not include me. So, I’ve gone NC in the past before I found your site & I’ve lasted 2 weeks, he calls, texts and when those don’t work he comes to my house unexpectedly. Sadly, I have become the girlfriend how meets all his needs (just like your program outlines AND MORE) My boyfriend & I go in cycles of closeness, then out of the blue, he backs away. Last Wednesday, I finally told him (over the phone) that I have no reason to continue to invest in a man who clearly doesn’t invest in me. his answer? “I’m afraid to let you go & find out later that I cannot survive without you or worse yet, when I do decide to start dating other people, I won’t find another woman who loves me & bends over backwards the way you do.” & basically he wants a monogamous relationship with me but I’m expected to sit on the shelf & wait for him to decide when he’s ready to move this point, There isn’t enough jelly beans left . So, I am determined to go NC for the full 30 days starting today (even though he has called me 3 times already) I think he is stringing me along, does it sound like that to you also? Thank you for reading

  3. Mona

    Hi Chris. I tried everything with my ex I even got him for a meet up after NC but when was going for texting he said that we can’t get back together. I don’t know if I moved to fast or if its really over or I should start the NC from the beginning?

  4. M.

    Yes he didn’t say it but that’s what he meant..I talked to him the other day and now nothing again..I really don’t know how to deal with it?How you can seduce such a guy??What can I do?

  5. Urgent

    Hi again, one update to my tale: I texted him today (10+ days since my last text) to let him know I decided to go to grad school near where he lives (it was important to me that he hear it from me – as that’s the tone of courtesy and respect I’d like to set for our break up, should it stand, going forward). I said “Hey, hope your trip is going well! I wanted to let you know that I decided to go to __school__ and was offered a full scholarship. Just thought you should hear it from me! Hope all is well” He saw it right away but waited an hour to respond and then said “Congrats on the scholarship! Sounds like it was the right decision for you with the money and ___a few other factors___. And I’m doing well here, thanks. Good luck with the move and transition” What do you think? Seems pretty cold to me, so I’m wondering if he’s over it and confident that he doesn’t want to get back together. I know you didn’t have a chance to respond to my previous reply, but if you could please respond to both, I would really, really appreciate it. Going back into NC for now, as I feel like I’m losing him…

  6. Trying to Stay in No Contact

    It doesn’t seem like I am going to get a follow-up reply. My birthday just passed and I really wanted to start in a strong place. Perhaps it’s best to not give much background as I thought it would help in formulating your replies. I will try the book and if it does not help me, I will just return it at this point. Not sure how much longer I want to even try this site either. Discouraged.

  7. Annie

    Thanks for your reply, I discovered last night he’s met someone else and has been texting her but keeping his options open with me, obviously this has hurt me, is there a way to turn this around? Because right now, the way I’m feeling, I’m tempted to walk away for good, we were doing so well. I don’t think I can do no contact again, although it was worth it, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, any advice?

  8. Katie

    No I have not. I wasn’t sure about sending a text since I am seeing before the 39 days nc is up, it will be only 27 days. Should I think of sending him a text before hand or start texting him a couple days after the baby shower?

  9. Kaylee

    Hey there Chris. Thank you for the link. However, I’m not sure if that’s very helpful/applies to me since he hasn’t even responded to me at all. I’ve sent 3 messages total. Did a something reminded me of him, a remembering something he loves, & asking him about the name of a movie we watched. Nothing…. Sooooo, sorry I guess im one of the lucky ones that gets to be put in your small pile of exboyfriend recovery not working. I tried my hardest to get him back but nothing. It’s been over 7 weeks since he broke up with me. Did no contact, bettered myself, posted fun things on FB, & reached out with positve texts. :-/ ugh. But I just wanted to say anyway thanks for the help. I don’t want to keep bothering him if he is clearly not interested anymore.

  10. Tina Tinkerbell

    LOL I’m a work in progress!

  11. Waiting and Asking him out while looking strong

    Good afternoon, Chris;
    Let me summarize my case:
    My boyfriend broke up with me 17 days ago and I´ve been using NC since then. The reason was that he felt overwhelmed with his work, and didn´t feel like he could do well in any aspect of his life, including our relationship. I understand him, because he is a soundtrack composer and you know how these things are: You don´t have almost any work in months and then, BAM, loads of it.

    However, I got to know via Fb that he is finishing some projects and starting new ones, so I´m happy because it´s what he needs to feel worthy and confident about his skills. What worries me is: Considering his reasons for the breakup, it´s still a good idea that I write first after the NC? I mean, he´s like in a personal crisis that probably will take more than a month to solve, and I don´t want him to feel overwhelmed, specially because he literally said: “I will contact you when I feel better”

    Apart from that, since then I´m following your advice, and I´ve even read your posts related to when we meet in person and all that, just to be prepared. I understand all that´s related to seduction and the chase theory, but here comes my second doubt: Imagine that we meet, start flirting and we build sexual tension as the days pass. If I ask him for commitment before sex, is like showing all my cards because from that moment on, he will know for sure that I want him back.

    How do you ask for commitment without looking weak? Do you say something like: I´m looking for someone who won´t consider me just a booty call? I´ve read your post about how to ask him out, but it seems like a perfectly prepared scenario. I´m concerned about the fact that we build intimacy and I have to stop him when he asks for sex. I don´t want to look weak but I don´t want him to feel super rejected or something.

    Sorry for the long comment, I hope you can help me

  12. Kristin

    Also he seems to want to care for me which he said. He wants to take care of me even though I don’t need him to he loves me and always will. But he won’t commit he keeps thinking this won’t work or he isn’t sure…I want this bad what do I do!???!!!!!!!

  13. Kristin

    How do I fix this to where he wants to commit?

  14. Chris Seiter

    Thanks Tina,

    It’s rainin men!! Hallelujah! It’s rainin men…

    You got some game Tinkerbell I’ll give you that.

    Thanks for all the kind words and keep me updated.

  15. Chris Seiter

    Glad NC is working for you!

    Ya, you maybe talked to him a little too soon about relationship stuff.

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