At a baby shower lunch with friends just before the second lockdown, the conversation turned to sex. Married friends always like to hear about singletons’ bad dates and worse sex (have you ever seen a micro penis? I have – I think. It might have been a nodule), but I had very little fodder to offer my coupled audience this time, as I hadn’t had sex in a year. Even longer now. I am accidentally celibate.
Cue shock from one newlywed friend – the pandemic didn’t kick in until March! What had I been up to? Well, first, I didn’t have Covid in my diary. If I’d known sex was going to be off the table, I might have had some… But then again, probably