If you’re not in the habit of deleting your dating app matches after you’ve stopped speaking to each other, chances are you still have an open conversation with an ex or two on there. Theoretically, you could click on their profile and the app would still let you know exactly how far apart the two of you are. My point? It is entirely possible to stalk your ex on a dating app but should you? If the newly increased character limit on Twitter has taught us nothing else, it’s that just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should.
If you and your ex are still matched, you still have full access to their dating profile. Mind-blowing, I know. With one swift click, you could know if they’ve updated their bio to include something heinous like, “It’s that ‘just broke up with the crazy ex GF’ time,” which is a real thing I’ve actually seen on someone’s profile. You can see if they’ve added any new photos to Instagram, if their taste in music has improved, and if they’ll be less than 25 miles away from you when you go home for Thanksgiving. The truth is, you can probably collect all of this useful data on any social media platform — Instagram, Facebook, Twitter — if you’re really committed to the investigation.
Just like it’s never a good idea to reconnect with an ex over Thanksgiving break though, it’s also not a good idea to check out what they’ve been up to online. Ask yourself why you’re even interested in this information. Is it because you care about them having the best Thanksgiving ever? Probably not. It’s more likely that your intentions are no different than if you were to text them a lame, “Happy turkey day,” in hopes of getting a flirtatious and welcoming response. The holidays — and the three slices of pumpkin pie you just ate — have you deep in your feels and you just want something (or someone) that brings you comfort. You want to see if they came home for Thanksgiving too, if they’re hanging out near you and your friends, and if they’ve moved on.
Don’t do it.
Nothing you find on your ex’s social media accounts will improve your quality of life. In fact, you’re more likely to come across some devastating update that hadn’t made its way back to you just yet, like the fact that they’re newly engaged to the love of their life even though they only met, like, four months ago. Krissy Dolor, director of client success at eFlirt, explained to Elite Daily earlier this month, “Most times, we crave going back to an ex because it’s comfortable, and because we’re scared of the unknown. But just because you don’t know what (or who) else is out there, doesn’t mean it won’t be even better than what you do know (your ex).” She’s right.
Instead of using social media to virtually torture yourself in an infinite loop of blurry photos and old status updates by your ex, use it the way God — and Mark Zuckerberg — intended. To step out of your comfort zone and meet new people. If you met your ex on a dating app, who’s to say you won’t meet the next great love of your life on there too? There are tons of other singles, like you, on Thanksgiving looking for someone to avoid their families with. Now, go forth and swipe right.