If you are someone who likes to keep a tab on all the latest dating trends, you would have probably come across the term “submarining,” a nasty dating trend in the millennial world that can be considered the next step to “ghosting.”
To understand what submarining is, you will have to wrap your head around ghosting, which refers to the date disappearing from your life without any prior warning. This means that you could be getting close to a potential boyfriend or girlfriend, but that significant someone suddenly drops off the face of the earth.
He or she will end all modes of communication with you, including calls, texts, and emails. You would end up getting blocked on all social media platforms, with your date, essentially turning into a ghost you once knew. Needless to mention, most cases of ghosting happen in relationships which started online or via dating apps like Tinder.
Submarining is similar to ghosting. The only difference is that after a submariner ghosts you for a certain period of time, the person reemerges in your life once again without any warning, acting as if nothing happened. The resurfacing can take place through a simple reply to an old text, or a comment on one of your recent pictures on Instagram or by liking a status on Facebook.
There is no time limit for the resurfacing to happen, which means that the date-turned-ghost can make his or her reappearance within weeks, months or years. If the submariner is kind enough, you might receive an explanation for why the person decided to just walk out of life. But according to an article on lifestyle website, ShortList, no one who has been ghosted should hold their breath for it.
And why this particularly nasty dating trend is called “submarining” is because the submariner’s actions mimic that of a submarine which floats on the ocean for a time period before disappearing under the water. Although one can be certain that it will resurface after a while, it is impossible to predict when that will happen.
The submariner not only finds their way into your life after the heart-breaking act of ghosting, he or she expects to pick up the relationship where it had been left off. However, according to another article published by Evening Standard, no matter how many compliments and praises are thrown your way, do not give in to the urge of forgiving your old flame and reignite your feelings for the other person.
So why do ghosts transform into submariners instead of staying invisible? Validation might be one of the major reasons as to why a potential lover, who ghosted you, may resurface in your life.
A submariner, after failing to successfully retain other love interests in their life, after ghosting you, may realize that he or she was better off with you and hence, decide to reappear in your life again. The key to protecting your self-esteem, under such circumstances, is not to give the ghost-turned-submariner his or her due gratification.