Dating can be a challenge at any age, but if you didn’t grow up attached to an iPhone, it can be particularly daunting as your best prospects are probably online. But if you are going to give online dating a try, and you definitely should, there are some things to keep in mind. “You should know that online dating requires a certain skill set,” says Carmelia Ray, celebrity matchmaker and online dating expert. “Online dating is a numbers game. It’s about quantity over quality.”
Meet the Expert
Carmelia Ray is an internationally acclaimed matchmaker and a renowned TV personality. She is an online dating expert with decades of experience and thousands of clients.
Ray spoke to MyDomaine about the ways in which people over 40 can see success with online dating by describing what should and shouldn’t be done when swiping through various sites. By using her tips, including her suggestions for dating sites to try, Ray is confident that anyone over 40 can find love online.
Online Dating in Your 40s
What are some things those new to online dating in the over-40 demographic should know going in?
“If you’re an older single person considering online dating, it’s important you know there are both good and bad people dating online,” she says. “Older singles dating online might experience disappointment and be overwhelmed if they are expecting to meet a great partner too quickly and too easily. They need to be open to rejection and staying positive even when things don’t work out the way they want them to.”
“And many singles in this age range are dating after a divorce or a long-term relationship,” Ray continues. “Before they begin dating seriously, it’s important that they’ve dealt with the pain associated with the breakdown of that previous relationship. It can be more challenging to date when you’re not emotionally ready to let someone into your life as a romantic partner.”
What should someone have in their dating profile to create the best chance of meeting someone in real life?
A fun and interesting profile photo: “It’s important that you stand out,” she says, but “don’t mislead your potential date with an old photo of yourself.”
A list of at least three important questions or qualifiers: “For instance, maybe you don’t want to meet someone who still has obligations to young children or is in the middle of a separation,” Ray notes.
A description of the kind of person they want to meet: “It’s best to leave out a ‘don’t’ list, such as, you ‘don’t want to meet a cheater’ or you ‘don’t want to meet a gambler,'” she adds. “Rather, say you’re interested in meeting someone who’s loyal and who is financially responsible.”
What should someone never do on online dating?
Never write a list of the things you don’t want. “Again, it’s best to stay positive,” she says.
Never lie about your height, weight, or body type. “This is misleading, and your potential mate can often get upset about it,” Ray notes. “A relationship that starts off with a lie is a bad idea.”
Never post a group photo as your main profile photo. “No one wants to have to guess who the correct person is,” Ray adds.
Never give out any personal information, such as your home address or workplace. “It’s important to guard your safety and security to avoid scammers,” she says.
Never post a photo of your kids when you’re dating online. “It’s always best to leave your children or grandchildren off a dating site,” she says. “Online dating sites are a place where the good, the bad, and the ugly are present. Protect your kids and personal information until you can establish trust.”
Ideal Dating Sites for People in Their 40s
What are some online dating sites that are ideal for people who are at least 40 years old?
OurTime: “OurTime is part of the Match.com group of dating sites and was specifically created for singles over 55,” Ray says. “It’s a premier dating site for mature singles.”
SilverSingles: “SilverSingles is meant to attract older, well-educated professional seniors, specifically those living in Canada,” she says.
Match.com: “This the most popular and widely recognized dating site for singles of all ages,” Ray notes. “There are sure to be singles over 50 here.”
eHarmony: “eHarmony is known to attract singles who are serious about meeting someone for a long-term relationship,” she continues.
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