The Jaffe Briefing – October 1, 2019


KENILWORTH – Maybe it is time for all involved to move on. The former schools superintendent – known internationally as the “pooperintendent” for famously relieving himself under the bleachers of Holmdel High – has sued the local cops for releasing his mug shot to the glee of international media and, thus, destroying his career in Kenilworth. A suit was filed in April, and now a federal court judge has dismissed it. The judge says the former school administrator failed to connect the distribution of the mug shot to the fact he was canned, reports. And the fact that he pleaded guilty to public defecation in Holmdel didn’t help his argument, nor the fact he was a superintendent in another district, about 30 miles north, of the discarded, and then discovered, aforementioned poop.

NEWARK – Expect plenty of terrific and innovative accounting, as Mayor Ras Baraka is expected today to announce a new $155 million lease agreement with the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey to help pay for all the lead service lines that need to be replaced across the city. No more details at the moment, Politico reports, but, of course, there is no such thing as free money. Just ask the commuters on the Port Authority’s George Washington Bridge, Lincoln Tunnel, Holland Tunnel and other crossings, where tolls will jump from $15 to $16 next month, while taxi and for-hire rides to the airport will also cost more, as will AirTrain rides.

TRENTON – Gov. Phil Murphy spends the better part of the year battling with the Democratic leadership and getting some of his pet projects blown out of the water. Now he’s trying to move ahead with his proposal to revamp New Jersey’s statewide student-testing program. To put this in context, the governor pledged that PARCC would be gone on “Day 1.” Murphy has his state Commissioner of Education in his corner, obviously, but the Board of Ed isn’t making any promises to rubber-stamp the proposal — partly because they’re miffed that Murphy and Repollet sprung it at their last meeting. Worse, the head of the Senate Education Committee, Teresa Ruiz (D-Essex), hasn’t been shy about how she feels about the plan, saying, “I absolutely do not support these changes.” It’s not clear just how much Ruiz can affect the administration’s plan, NJSpotlight notes, but the situation offers the same lesson, yet again, to Murphy: You can’t cross powerful Dems with impunity. 

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IN THE CLASSROOM – Teaching is a pretty good gig in New Jersey – at least for anyone who can stomach a steady diet of cafeteria food, runny noses, ever-changing state mandates, and the whim of local school boards. Yet, personal finance website WalletHub says New Jersey is the nation’s second-best state to be a teacher, behind North Dakota, after analyzing stuff like pupil-teacher ratios, class size and yada, yada, yada. If, by now, you’re saying: “Show me the money!” Well, our average teacher salary is $70,200, more than the national norm of $61,700. Teachers in North Dakota, however, enjoy plenty more snow days. In fact, isn’t it flurrying in 40-degree Bismark right now?

EVESHAM – Finding love can be a costly affair. It certainly was for a lonely 76-year-old woman from this Burlington County town, bilked out of $125,000 by a phony suitor using a phone app for online romance. Pretending to live abroad, this swindler persuaded her to get a bank loan so he could join her in New Jersey. The Courier-Post says Evesham cops ultimately tracked down and slapped cuffs on a 30-year-old grifter – who actually lives in not-so-foreign Old Bridge – now accused of theft and money laundering. Authorities say similar online romance scams cost gullible, lovelorn victims $145 million last year along. Hopefully this particular chiseler’s next unwanted romance will be a beefy (and clingy) cellmate.

NEW BRUNSWICK – Time to celebrate a 19-year veteran of city fire department, hailed as a hero for rescuing a woman trapped on the roof of a burning building early Monday morning. Lt. Tony Jones used a freestanding ladder to climb to the roof at 29 Easton Ave. after a fire had engulfed the building and blocked the woman’s exit. The hero tells TAPInto New Brunswick: “I told another person to get a line to start putting the fire out. He pulled the ladder, I helped them stretch the line and then I climbed up the ladder to assist her, carry her off the roof.” Bystanders say the firefighter kept the woman calm and all was orderly: a textbook rescue.


ON SOCIAL MEDIA – Mocking President Trump’s Twitter mistakes is a new American pastime for many. Now, Merriam-Webster joins that chorus. Without naming our “extremely stable genius,” dictionary wordsmiths corrected his misuse of a hyphen and apostrophe in a tweet slamming House Intelligence Committee chairman, Rep. Adam Schiff. The lexicographers tweet read: “For those looking up punctuation: A hyphen is a mark – used to divide or to compound words. An apostrophe is a mark ‘ used to indicate the omission of letters or figures.” While they graciously ignored Trump’s misspelling of “little,” another Twitter follower just couldn’t: “It’s “li’l,” you ludicrous goofus.”


It was one year ago today that Los Angeles cracked down on drunken electric scooter riders. One city man was fined $550 and ordered to pay restitution after knocking over a 64-year-old guy innocently walking out of a theater. It marked the city’s first official prosecution of drunk scooter-driving. The drunkard was completely plastered, technically speaking, with a blood-alcohol level of three times the legal limit. He’s now serving 36 months of probation, with a DWI conviction.


Rodomontade – [rah-d?-m?-TAYD] – noun

Definition: A bragging speech

Example: In front of some voters, the event became a rowdy lark full of rodomontade.


“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” 

? Zig Ziglar




A Jaffe Briefing Exclusive

by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun

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