If there is one dating app I hate, it’s Tinder. But for the sake of helping you all improve your virtual-dating game, I took one for the team and downloaded Tinder. I went undercover as D.W. from Arthur (iconic) and swiped right on over 1,000 people to get real advice from real people on how to make your profile stand out!
I picked ten of my favorite responses out of the dozens of DMs I received. I will be listing the questions I asked, the answer I received and my advice of course! ?
What is the most important part of someone’s profile?
Adonis, 20: “I would say the fact that they express who they are or what they are looking for.”
Adonis really hit the nail on the head with this. Like, I couldn’t have said it better even if I tried! If you’re looking to make connections, let that be known! But if you’re only DTF, say you’re just looking to have fun! It’s LITERALLY all fun and games on these apps.
What attracts you first when looking on someone’s profile?
Thomas, 25: “Mostly if they’re good looking, when it’s window shopping it’s looks.”
OK so my first reaction. Kinda shallow. But Thomas really gave the honest answer everyone is thinking internally! Social media is literally fake and beauty is in the eye of the beholder. There is nothing wrong with showing off your best photos of yourself!
How do you determine whether you swipe right or left on someone?
Zoe, 19: “humor!! anything that makes me laugh is an automatic right swipe ? a left swipe is someone who has no bio, is kinda mean, or isn’t looking for the same thing as me.”
You can make humor so flirtatious! Create a sense of comfort right away. It will make a person more inclined to match with you if you provide a light-hearted reputation over an “I’m 6’4” and own a Jeep” bio (I just threw up in my mouth). WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT?? Like oh, do you rev your engine every time you leave the neighborhood?
What makes a dating bio interesting?
Allan, 22: “Anything that is unique is great. So many girls on here just say ‘send me dog pics’ or some shit, it’s not it”
OH MY GOD THE DOG LINE!!! I hate to break it to you guys, but being obsessed with dogs is not a personality trait. I actually got the dog comment from three different people. Keep it short and sweet. Give people a little context about yourself, but don’t overshare. I would prob say something like:
“Looking for someone to go thrifting with & never misses a taco Tuesday.”
Oh she shops? Oh she likes tacos? You can literally take so much away from that. Like yes, let’s go to Cantina Alley then walk to the Goodwill down the street.
How do you slide into someone’s DMs?
Jacob, 18: “My favorite thing to do is introduce myself then ask about their music preferences. I also like to acknowledge something in their bio which I feel like makes the introduction more genuine.”
Oh yes, Jacob! Music is most definitely a great way to slide into someone’s DMs. The key is to try to make a connection with literally ANYTHING from their profile.
You match with a girl who is a die-hard Sam Hunt fan, but country music makes you want to stick your head in a blender? Say you love the yodeling kid or something like that.
Do you think a person should include pictures of only themselves, or with friends in a dating profile?
David, 24: “Only themselves. because i’ve matched with so many girls who have a pic with their friends and i assume they are the pretty one when in reality it is not the one i prefer.”
I have to laugh at this one. It’s not actually as serious as what this guy is saying. I think it’s totally fine to have pictures with your friends, but this is YOUR profile so sell the best version of yourself! Every picture should benefit yourself and give someone access to start up a conversation. Add a picture with your family, your roommates or a group photo of a cool trip you’ve been on.
Are you more likely to swipe right on a selfie or a full body picture?
Ruben, 24: “Full body. If it’s a selfie with a filter, most likely left swipe.”
I don’t think there is anything wrong with selfies, but this guy has a point! GUYS. Your default profile picture should never have a Snapchat filter on it. Don’t get me wrong! I love to use filters for an occasional thirst trap on my story, but it’s so obvious to see through the peaches on your cheeks or hearts over your head, lol. Your profile should showcase the best photos of you naturally, selfie or not!
Could you give an example of the best/worst conversations from dating apps?
Hailey, 20: “The best conversations are when you match with someone and right off that bat start texting back and forth and finding out you have similar interests. But honestly being dry and showing a lack of enthusiasm is very unattractive.”
Playing hard-to-get is a definite “no <3” when it comes to online dating. No one is going to chase you that hard if you’re not willing to put in the effort to even respond. If you match with someone you’re interested in getting to know but hate messaging on dating apps (like me), say something along the lines of:
“Hey I really hate dating apps, but I would love to get to know you better! Here is my number… go ahead and text me when you get the chance.”
That way you can show someone you’re more serious than just a few DMs on an app. And if you’re busy with work or school or whatever, it takes off the pressure of leaving someone hanging in your DMs, because you can send them a quick text like, “Hey I’m caught up with homework for a few hours, talk to you later!”
Is it attractive to plug your social media in your profile?
Jenny, 22: “Hmmmm if they have their Snapchat in their bio I automatically gag. Insta is chill because everyone uses it and it’s kinda interesting to see more pictures that they don’t necessarily select for a dating profile.”
Do. Not. Drop. Your. Snap. Common guys. We are (mostly) all way too old for our main source of communication to be Snapchat. There is nothing wrong with giving your Snap privately to someone once you’re messaging. I love Snapchat for so many reasons because you get to become familiar with someone’s face through pictures you send back and forth. But when getting to know someone, your main form of communication should be over text.
Does height matter?
Joe, 21: “As long as I’m the big spoon when cuddling then no”
Joe! My guy. I am a tall girl myself. I would prefer a guy taller than me, HOWEVER, nothing grinds my gears more than when a guy lies about his height to me. Like I’m 5’8” dude, if your profile said 6’1” and we meet for the first time and you’re 5’10” I am definitely going to notice. I have had multiple guys say to me, “Wow you’re taller than I was expecting.” Well no shit! What did you expect? I’m not the one who lied about my height.
Are shirtless/bikini pics attractive or unattractive in a dating profile?
Ned, 22: “Definitely attractive. Not to sound cliche but it shows how confident and comfortable they are with their body.”
Context is everything when it comes to ANY picture you put on your profile. If you think a picture of yourself on the beach or at the gym is one of your best photos, go for it! Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone has their own version of “attractive.” I love it when I see people confident and happy in pictures, but on the other hand, I don’t wanna see every picture of you shirtless with your bros from spring break or whatever.
Now let me just enlighten you all with the DMs that really sent me over the edge.
My Tinder Takeaway
I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was genuinely so surprised at how helpful people were when matching with me. I want to hear about all of your online dating experiences! Let me know in the comments.
As always, be SAFE on the internet. Message with caution and if something doesn’t feel right with a person, drop ‘em.
Be Kind! And be awesome! You’re all hot, ily <3