The Right Way to Respond to a Woman’s First Message on Bumble | #tinder | #pof

5 Ways to Respond on Bumble After She’s Made the First Move

In 2014, former Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe decided to create her own dating app: Bumble. 

While similar to Tinder in many ways, it had one noticeable difference in that women had to message first, and they had to do so within 24 hours of the match. 

Sure, the rules are a bit skewed for queer people — gay and lesbian users can message their matches whenever they like — but if you’re a woman looking for men or vice versa, you’re bound by those simple rules. 

RELATED: How to Use Bumble to Guarantee Yourself a Date

Some found these rules straightforward, but many straight guys weren’t used to being put in the receiver role when it came to an opening message. Similarly, many straight women weren’t quite confident sending brash opening messages either.

Though Bumble has added pre-written questions to the app to help people start conversations, if you’re one of those guys who’s not 100% sure how to handle the “ladies first” approach of Bumble, here’s how to respond to a woman’s opening message, along with helpful visual examples of both dos and don’ts for five different types of conversation starters: 


Bumble Opening Message Ideas (And How to Respond to Each)


1. The Boring Opener

To no real surprise, many women on Bumble take a generalized route when it comes to their opening messages and just say “Hi” or “Hey” without going any further. That leaves the big move to be made by the guy in an effort to spark some conversational momentum. 

If your match’s profile inspired you to talk about something in particular, shoot your shot with that angle, but here’s another valid approach: encouraging your match to try again. 

However, make sure that you do it in a teasing way, whether that’s with a compliment or not, rather than being terse and judgmental. 

Do this:

Don’t do this: 

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

2. The Non-Opener

Another version of the above is when women on Bumble try to Tinder the situation. Meaning, they’ll flip things around so that the guy has to start the conversation by sending a non-opener such as “Hit me with your best pickup line,” or just by using a simple waving hand emoji.

Here, the responsibility is clearly and squarely on you to get the ball rolling.

A teasing approach can work wonders here as well, as you see in the first example below. Responding tersely, as seen in the “don’t do this” example, is a much more risky proposition. 

Do this:

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

Don’t do this:

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

3. The Personalized Question Opener

This is probably the second easiest Bumble opener, and it’s not super hard to get right. If someone lobs one of these at you, it’s like getting a nice slow pitch right in your wheelhouse, so take advantage of it to respond in kind. 

If your match puts in the time to ask you a question based off something she saw in your profile — a detail from one of your pictures or from your bio — then reply to her question in earnest, like the stand-up guy in the “do” example below. 

The only real way to get this wrong is to assume that she’s just asking out of politeness and try to pivot her intro to another subject too quickly, since it’s presumptuous and will likely come off as rude. Terse, one-word answers will also get you nowhere, as in the “don’t” example.

Do this:

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

Don’t do this: 

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

4. The Impersonal Question Opener

Consider questions like “What’s your hidden talent?” or “Which do you prefer: intelligence, kindness or beauty?” as an invitation to impress. 

Whatever you do, don’t go crass, like the guy in the “don’t” example below (unless her bio says “respond with something brutally honest and rude,” which is highly unlikely). 

If you find the question too dumb or uninteresting to respond to, the better options are to either respond in earnest but try to change the subject before long, to playfully tease her for the boring conversation starter and/or respond with a joke answer, or to just ignore it. 

Do this:

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

Don’t do this:
 

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

5. The Horny Opener

Honestly? It’s hard to screw up a horny Bumble opener. They don’t happen very often, but if you manage to get one, you’re probably in for some fun times. 

The easiest way to screw up a horny opener is to imagine something’s horny when it isn’t. The whole concept of Bumble was to protect women from skeezy, overly sexual first messages. Don’t ever jump straight to sex talk unless she does first. 

It’s pretty simple, but lots of guys still don’t get it, and in addition to being rude, they’re shooting themselves in the foot. It’s these brash, harassment-type moves that ruin things for other guys by making their match feel creeped out and more on guard. It’s a rare lose-lose-lose situation, so skip it. 

Do this:

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

Don’t do this: 

Bumble texting screenshots of conversations

 

You can download Bumble here.

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