The Understated Importance of the Backup Booty Call


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Was there a time when you desperately needed to release some sexual tension, but no one was there to help you? That’s what a backup booty call is for.




The backup booty call is someone whom you can readily call when you’re feeling frisky and have no other options. It’s different from the f*ck buddy, whom you frequently sleep with. The backup booty call is that one person whom you slept with and can always sleep with again, if need be.

You only call them when it’s necessary, like if you’re undergoing a dry spell or if you feel really horny. You don’t maintain a relationship with them. They’re just the person you call when there’s no one else around.

I know it sounds mean, but look at the bigger picture. They’re getting just as much as you are, and they don’t have to worry about hurting your feelings. They’re called the backup because they are the least attractive prospect for sex on your roster. They don’t have to suck at sex, but they’re not on the level of the people you sleep with on a regular basis.

Bear in mind that you should never tell this person that they are a backup booty call. That’s just plain mean. Besides, with the frequency of your calls, they probably know what’s up anyway. [Read: How to make a sexy and successful booty call]

Why should you get a backup booty call?

We can all agree that sex – especially good sex… scratch that, great sex – is the best thing on the planet. People sleep together because it’s fun, and it makes us feel really good. When the time comes when we don’t have access to it, we don’t really care that much. But wouldn’t it be better if there was someone out there whom you can call anytime you needed a little lovin’?

Having a backup booty call allows you to feel secure, at least, sexually. You can call them whenever you need to, and they’re the most likely person to agree to have sex with you. That sounds pretty sad, but we’re talking about the backup booty call, not a f*ck buddy. You’re already at your wit’s end. No one else is available. What else can you do, right?

With a backup booty call, you won’t have to worry about feeling like humping the couch when your hormones are raging. Don’t get us wrong. Engaging in casual sex can be emotionally taxing for some people. If, however, you can handle it and are not hurting anybody, then why not? [Read: The step-by-step guide to turning a friend into a f*ck buddy]

The benefits of the backup booty call

If you have a backup booty call, you won’t have to worry about going out to find someone new to sleep with. There’s less risk of becoming a skin suit and going through the constant emotional roller coaster of first dates.

The backup booty call can disappear at any time, but you can rest assured that they will be there as long as they’re single. They’re okay with you seeing other people, only if you’re okay with them doing so as well. This has to be established before anything else. Sometimes, you don’t need to talk about it, but it’s better to know what’s up rather than get blindsided by misunderstandings.

The sex isn’t that frequent, so there’s less risk of developing feelings as well. You know how hormones can be, foisting all those artificial feelings of love and affection on you. Ugh.

Kidding aside, having sex can open you up to creating an emotional bond. If you can control your feelings and know where you stand, you don’t have to worry about getting hurt, at least until you realize that you can’t control it anymore.

The best part about having a backup booty call is that they’re still technically your friend. They will have your back, not just sexually, but also when you need a helping hand. F*ck buddies are more likely to avoid any lasting connections, but the backup booty call will stay as long as it’s okay. [Read: How to initiate a friends with benefits relationship]

How do you get a backup booty call?

If you don’t have a backup booty call right now, the only way to get one is to make an arrangement with someone you trust. Make sure that this person is single and not interested in any emotional entanglements. It’s better if your backup is a friend that you really trust. Just make sure it’s a friend you won’t mind losing if things get rough.




You can also commission a coworker or a classmate whom you share a mutual attraction with. Just make sure that they know what they’re getting into. You wouldn’t want to end up in a one-sided relationship. You could end up hurting someone if they don’t know what’s going on.

You don’t have to tell them how often it’s going to happen. You just have to tell them that you’re open to sleeping with them whenever you two are available. In order to keep the backup booty call consistent, you have to continue to communicate with them, even if it’s just once every few weeks.

Don’t go out on dates. You can go out for drinks, but only if you’re about to sleep together. These rules are put in place so that neither of you will get the wrong idea. You can still sleep with other people, but make sure that your backup knows it and that you’re being safe. If they don’t agree to this sort of arrangement, don’t force them. [Read: 25 friends with benefits rules to remember]

The parameters of the backup booty call

In order to differentiate between the backup booty call and the f*ck buddy, here are some points to consider when looking for the backup booty call.

#1 Must be emotionally unavailable or not interested in a relationship. That’s super easy to find. [Read: 5 clear signs of an emotionally unavailable man]

#2 Must be someone you know very well. A friend, a coworker, or a classmate. Easy to find and easy to call.

#3 Must be good at sex, but no so much that you’d crave it. You’ll know it when you do it. But if they’re really that good, then you may be tempted to upgrade them to f*ck buddy status.

#4 Must be nice. You want someone who will treat you right, even if you’re just having sex.

#5 Must be someone trustworthy. You don’t want someone who has a criminal record or less than savory dating practices.

#6 Must be single. Duh. Don’t risk being the other man or woman all for the sake of having a backup booty call.

#7 Must have a life. Or else you’ll end up coddling them whenever they need you.

#8 Must not ask questions. That just complicates things.

#9 Must be present in your life. Don’t allow that person to disappear into the ether. Say hi once in a while.

#10 Must accept their fate. They shouldn’t be resentful of the fact that you’re sleeping with other people. That’s just how life goes.

#11 Must not be an ex. Yes, we know how easy it is to commission an ex to be your backup booty call, but you’ll just end up asking for trouble. [Read: Getting back with an ex for sex: Okay or no-go?]

The moral implications of the backup booty call

Some might say that you’re just using this person to sate your needs, and we’ll admit that it’s true. That is why we put a huge emphasis on clarity and transparency. Do not lead them on. Don’t force them to do anything they don’t want to do.

You’re not a bad person for wanting sex. You become a bad person when you stop caring about how others feel. Sex is great, so you don’t have to deny yourself that pleasure. Just make sure that you’re giving just as much as you’re taking. That way, everyone’s happy.

[Read: 10 booty call moves that you might mistake for true love]

Treat your backup booty call right, and you’ll never have to look for sex again – unless they get married or whatever.

View full post on Lovepanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships


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