Swipe right, then swipe left, swipe right and then perhaps left again at every (un)attractive man who claims to be a ‘sapiosexual’ or a self proclaimed ‘gym/fitness freak’. This activity was becoming too recreational for me after a heavy day of work, post a bad break up. It had been a while since the great ‘paradigm shift’ in my life and I wasn’t getting any younger (or so I thought) and I took to online dating like how Piranhas take to flesh (for the lack of a better analogy). Days tuned to nights but the swipes just remained in the realms of virtuality, like that was their rightful place.
I am an old school romantic and I believe the current dating trend is ruining our chances of finding ‘everlasting love’. There is a sudden urgency to get someplace in life and move on to associations with one swipe and forget everything else love stood for in that mere moment. It was all alien to me but as I mentioned before I took to a particular dating app quite relentlessly where the success rate for the app was determined by how attractive people looked in their pictures. I also realised people who were a bit too callous in their usage of colloquial English had super chances of ‘hooking up’. So words like romance, everlasting or even love for that matter, didn’t fathom in their virtual dictionary. It all boiled down to a fast-paced association and I began to see why our generation lacks the semblance of unconditional love and romance altogether.
I am a product of some tough everlasting love. My parents met in another city where dating was seen as a forlorn endeavour and matrimonial advances were at its peak. There was literally no ‘let’s go grab a few drinks’ kinda scenario. If you like the girl, you take her home and make babies with her. A bit rebellious in her belief, my mother was a staunch and independent romantic at heart and certainly wanted her part of the bargain to be played right. But before she could enter this vicious gambit, my father took one look at her and fell head over heels in love. There was no looking back from there. They long distanced their way through the relationship, by making STD calls to each other every week and within three months, they were happily married.
The struggle was still real when they got married. My dad took upon an offshore job and was away most times while my mother spent her time writing letters to him about her life back home. The letters became a real source of inspiration for me and I grew up trying to preserve the sanctity of ‘everlasting love’.
Today, 35 years later after my parents first met, I am still trying to gather a sense of romance that has now ceased to exist. The hope to meet men organically is slowly diminishing and apps are still showing their keen existence on my phone.