The world has stigmatised stepparents as evil and wicked, but this is not always true. In fact, many stepparents genuinely love their stepchildren and are looking for ways to get that kind of love back.
Here are some tips for getting your step children to love you:
Make a fast first impression
To take the pressure off the initial meeting, make it a quick hello and avoid long dinners or giving expensive gifts.
Allow time for grieving
If you’re a stepparent entering into a marriage that was preceded by divorce between two living parents, give the stepchild time and space.
Love them. Love them with your entire being. Love them like they are your very own children. This isn’t about you, this isn’t about your relationship with their mom or their dad, this is about you and your stepkids. Love them without inhibition.
Find common ground. Find something you are both into. For example, if you both like magic, teach them a trick. If you both like ball games, get out and play some. If you both like cookies, bake some together.
Focus on the kids first. Start a conversation by asking about them. Kids will often be excited to tell you about their talents/ hobbies.
Give them credit for their skills. Just because they are smaller than you doesn’t mean they are stupid. Young kids are often smarter than we give them credit for.
Pay attention to the kids. Show them that you love them and enjoy spending time with them.
Make the kids laugh. This will get them to trust you, and let you into their heads. However, don’t go by age, gender, etc. to try to determine what they will find funny.
Compliment the kids. While you do sidewalk chalk drawings with the kids, tell them how awesome their’s look. They’ll be stoked that you’re interested.