Dating is never easy, especially when it’s with Christians.
Dating isn’t easy and I think every single person can agree on that matter. It has ups and downs. It has liars and honest people. It has good times and bad times.
Why is dating complicated for Christian singles?
It has fights and agreements. It has compromises and communication (if it’s healthy).
There are so many things to be figured out when dating someone. But even before you get to point of dating one person, you have to date so many people to eventually narrow it down.
It’s so hard to know what you want, let alone throwing religion into the mix! Not just any religion, but especially Christianity.
Here are reasons why dating is complicated for singles who are also Christian.
1. Christians have stricter rules when it comes to courtship.
Christians are known for having stricter values and standards for who they want to marry and the qualifications that that person has to meet. They don’t date for fun like a lot of people.
2. Christians date with a purpose.
They date with a mission in mind: to get married. Whether it be for life or until death do them part or for time and all eternity, the Christians are in it for marriage.
This makes dating pretty complicated because not everyone that they meet or run with is going to have those same desires and standards.
3. Not all Christians who date want to take the relationship seriously.
They might not want to get married or have kids or raise their kids in the church. This creates so many complications for these types of relationships.
They have to consider all sorts of things. I’d like to talk about some ways to work around these complications that might make things a little easier hopefully.
4. Not everyone believes the same things, even among Christians who are dating.
Some things to think about and consider when trying to find out if a person is the type of person that you want to date or that fits into the ideal mold you’ve built up in your head.
5. No one is perfect, but we’re all trying to date a man (or woman) like Jesus.
No there is something that you need to remember when dating: you will not find the PERFECT MAN. He does not exist, so please ladies, have mercy on these men that you’re judging and taking first impressions.
There are going to be flaws with the men you date. But there are good men out there who definitely do possess the qualities that you are looking for and will be able to align their lives and values with you and your life. A good way to find out if he is what you want is by stalking.
No, not in person, please do not take my advice and follow your crush around to the point of being served with a restraining order. I mean social media stalking.
6. Social media makes it hard to know who you’re *really* dating.
But not the surface level type. Sure, you can find his cute, artsy, posed, shirtless pics on Instagram that will get you hooked on his first look, but that is not the real him.
That is either a dramatic over-exaggeration that gives him way too much credit for being a great guy or a douche outer shell.
While those coverups might be enticing, they’re not the real man and let’s face it, not the kind of guy that you really want to raise 2-6 kids with, in a house with a wrap-around porch and a white picket fence.
No, what you want to find on social media is through Facebook. That’s the key, that’s where you’ll find the goofy childhood pics he posted when he was 12 and didn’t have a care in the world for what his social media presence looked like.
He hasn’t been back on recently enough to update it or care to try. So, you can see what he is really like down to the core. His inner child.
7. Dating a single Christian means, also dating their family.
But a secret that gets you even more deeply into his real personality is the Facebook of his mother. She will have all the pics that are embarrassing and unedited and will post about all of his accomplishments and brag about her son to no end.
He can’t control what she posts, so it’s unfiltered and his true personality shining through.
Going off of that, a good way to gauge what a guy is like is by seeing how he acts around his mom and how he talks about her. If he is respectful and loving and adoring, then he is a keeper.
8. Dating feels intimidating, even for Christians who trust God will provide.
Dating online is honestly kind of scary in my opinion. If you never see them in person, it’s hard to know who they are and if you would even get alone in reality.
Also, Cat-fishing is a huge risk which is really scary. But, aside from all the bad things, there can be happy endings to these love stories, and I know that they do work out.
People can for sure make connections while talking to someone online. You can feel connected and in love even with someone through the personality that they have portrayed to get close with you through online dating.
But it is always important to be cautious and aware of what is going on.
Dating is never easy but when you search hard, do your best to be yourself and make sure that you find someone who can be themselves too while encouraging you to uphold your own standards, and never settle…then you’ve won.
Never let go and never give up on the object of finding your true love. They’re out. Christian and all.
Hayley Small is a writer who covers astrology, spirituality, and relationships.