Anyone can have a great profile picture, but a good conversation starter is key to making it work.
Your first impression on Tinder matters — even if it’s through text. So when thinking about what to say to a girl on Tinder can be pretty intimidating without a few good pick up lines and conversation starters in your back pocket.
A good first impression starts with a great profile picture on any online dating app. One of the many benefits of Tinder is there are more options to control your local proximity and plenty of filters that help you find someone new.
Tinder is an online dating app that doesn’t focus on compatible questions, but instead reveals further details and other social media photos all at once. Anyone can swipe left for rejection or swipe right to get to know the person of interest.
Users are not aware of who has rejected them on the app, even if the user has swiped right on that person of interest. If both parties swipe right, then Tinder allows both parties to chat on the app to get to know each other.
Unfortunately, there’s high motivation for both men and women to exaggerate their self-impressions. Research shows that for women, it’s their weight — and for men, it’s their height or their income levels that they tend to exaggerate.
When it comes to controlling any cues for impressions, Tinder users are limited by the number of photos or text to display. This is why it’s essential to prepare for future conversations — so that you feel more genuine to the other person.
Not even the best profile picture or having perfect compatibility can help you be successful on Tinder if you lack the techniques for starting actual conversations with the person you’re interested in.
Let’s dive into the do’s and don’t for the conversation-starters and pickup lines.
Let’s talk about the kind of conversations you don’t want to start with a woman on Tinder.
First — it’s a nice thought, but a woman on Tinder doesn’t need you to remind her how beautiful she is. Sure, she may be wearing a bikini or a dress in her photos, but women challenge men to look past beauty. If the first thing you say is something about how pretty she looks, it looks like you’re just putting her on a pedestal, which will make her lose interest pretty quickly.
If you’ve already swiped right, then that indicates that you already find her attractive — no need to tell her the same thing a million guys before you have likely already said.
Secondly, avoid being dull. This means to resist blending in with other guys, and using safe greetings like ‘hey’ or ‘hello.’ All this will lead to is the girl yawing is deleting the conversation. The whole point of a dating app is to give people time to express themselves in a way they wouldn’t if they were face-to-face. “Hey,” tells her diddly squat.
Third — there’s little-to-no chance for a woman to be interested if you send a thirsty message off the bat. There’s a potential genuine woman on the other end of that app — not a pornstar ready to send their location. Sending thirsty messages right up front reveals how condescending you are toward women.
Here are the best things to say to a girl on Tinder to start a (real) conversation:
Before sending any woman a message, get to know her before you conduct a conversation. Her pictures are a visual bio, that helps connect to her audience what she’s into. Her profile gives you insight into her hobbies, interests, and beliefs. Use that info (that she readily gave you) to start up a conversation that has substance.
For example, if she believes that ‘meditation is key,’ then don’t be afraid to disagree and comment something like ‘I believe intense intermediate workout has a great effect on our mental health.’ Women dig being challenged if you’re offering an interesting conversation on the plate. Just don’t be super argumentative or put her down.
A key trick that anyone should know when talking to a woman, is using her name as apart of your opening message. This subconsciously creates an emotional bond that will make it more comfortable for her to interact with you.
Lastly, evoke emotion and use humor. This helps anyone stand out from the crowd when it comes to attracting a mate. A woman adores someone who knows how to make her laugh or ponder about something. Look up some classy (clean) jokes, to avoid presenting yourself as a ‘douche bag,’ to get the ball rolling.
If you need a little help knowing what to say to a girl on Tinder, take a look at these pickup lines and helpful conversation starters below to help you make a good first impression.
Top ten cheesy pickup lines that just might work:
1. Movie puns (Star Wars references are a great start).
“You’re looking for love in Alderaan places.”
2. Use her name to your advantage.
Here’s an example if her name is ‘Sarah.’
“Is Sarah a doctor in the house because I’m dying from how adorable you are in that picture with your cat.”
3. Search for common ground.
“Have you ever been to Antarctica?”
“No way neither have I, we have so much in common!”
4. The survey pickup line is actually pretty funny.
“Hi I’m doing a survey of which pickup line think is the worst:
- Do you come here often?
- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
- Hi I’m doing a survey of which pickup lines think is the worst.”
5. When she takes your breath away.
“I value my breath so I’d appreciate if you’d stop taking it away.”
6. When they seem like they’re from heaven.
“I see you’re __ miles away. I thought heaven was further.”
7. When it’s good to be wrong.
“Pardon me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist right?”
8. You’re pretty confident if you use this one. Might work. Might not.
“What’s a smart, attractive, young… man like me doing without your number?”
9. Vitamins are essential to our health.
“You look like you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.”
The best conversation starters for a good first impression:
1. If she shows one side of her face.
“I see you have a ‘best side’ for selfies. I was wondering what’s on the other side of your face though. Got any cool face tattoos there?”
2. Notice her animal companions.
“Your German Shepherd seems protective, does he like guys too?”
3. Personal messages are a good start.
“The beach in your picture reminds me of the Sunset beach my friends and I used to go down and surf at. The best moments were chilling on our surfboards while watching the vivid sunset. Do you spend a lot of time there?”
4. Share common interests.
“Your snake plant is as big as my Boston fern. Feel free to disagree, but plants help any home feel a lot happier.”
5. Use her location to your advantage.
“Hey did you grow up in Benton, AR? I know Bentonville, which is two hours away, has stunning views.”
6. Compliment her scenery.
“Epic hiking photo. Where was that taken?”
7. A flirty comment isn’t a bad start.
“You look like you know how to have a good time. Had any adventures lately?”
8. Random thoughts help you look familiar.
“Rhode Island is neither a road nor an island. I think we should discuss don’t you?”
9. Everyone loves music quotes.
“Without music, life would be a mistake? Feel free to disagree.”
The best ice-breakers:
1. Literally, an ice breaker.
“Titanic. That’s my icebreaker. What’s up?”
2. Always give them options.
“You get a 3-day weekend. Are you heading for the mountains, the beach, or sleeping till noon?”
3. When wearing hats in her pictures.
“Hey, I like the way you wear your hat. It makes you look like you’re plotting something. Want to help me kidnap three puppies?”
4. Draw her a map.
“I’m new to this city, can you show me the way to your heart?”
5. Congratulate her.
“You’ve just won a free trip to anywhere in the world! (Not from me, it’s coming in the mail.) The catch is you have to leave tomorrow. Where are you headed?”
6. Share a vegetarian joke.
“If two vegetarians have a fight, is it still called a beef?”
7. Play a game.
“Two truths and a lie: ready, set, go!”
8. Simple and clean is the best way to go.
“Could you date someone who orders a plain bagel with plain cream cheese when they have other options?”
9. Personality questions are the best.
“Your Sunday breakfast personality is __? A) Waffles & pancakes, slowly savored. B) Apple & granola bar on the run. C) Aggressive mimosas. D) Sleeping til lunch.”
10. A little confidence never hurt anyone.
“I would totally let you take me to brunch tomorrow.”