Doing well on dating apps can hinge on one’s understanding of human psychology. It relies on being able to put yourself in others’ shoes, and think, “How am I perceived when I do this?” Those sound like strengths and skills that we probably all like to think we have — and that sound easy enough — but the reality is human psychology is actually pretty complicated. And when we put ourselves in others’ shoes, we’re still looking through the lens of our eyes so there is a bias there.
If you use dating apps and aren’t having the success you’d hoped for, you might sometimes think, “This other person I know who is way less desirable than I am is killing it on there! Why not me?” (I didn’t say you were proud of the thought, just that you may be having it). But maybe it’s not actually about the person’s desirability; it’s about their dating app aptitude. We spoke to Dana Balch, consumer communications manager at Tinder, about information the dating app team has gathered on what makes a profile pop and entices people to swipe right.
Give ‘em a smile
This one may seem obvious, but anyone who has spent time on dating apps has come across the brooding individuals, or users withholding a smile in an attempt to look cool? Mysterious? Who knows. But, Balch notes, “If you smile, people assign much more positive traits to you. They assume you’re friendlier. You’re happier. You’re someone who likes having fun. Which are often things people are looking for in a relationship.”