There was an interesting column in our local newspaper the other day about empathy.
Tom Purcell talked about how getting our information, news, and social feedback online tends to isolate us and separate us into separate silos.
As he commented in his introduction, “Empathy is in short supply these days.”
He also observed how online algorithms feed us information that aligns with our current biases and fears, and hides anything that causes us to fact check or reject what we read.
In fact, depending on technology and news bites is one of the reasons we are becoming more isolated, hard hearted, fearful, and angry.
Living in Adams County I am surrounded by friends and family with whom I frequently interact.
Consequently, I feel anything but a sense of isolation, primarily as I am determined to do what I can face to face.
Online shopping was a real boon for my husband who was crippled with arthritis, but I resist online shopping and socializing as much as possible, not just to support local businesses, but because I am happier when I am in contact with real live human beings. Nothing pushes my buttons faster than making a phone call and getting a robot that refuses to allow me to talk with a real person.
With all of the scams happening on a daily basis, I feel more secure looking someone in the eye when doing my banking, shopping, etc.
Online communication allows us to be invisible.
It is much harder to call someone a nasty name when we are looking them in the eye.
Fortunately, we have this built-in default setting in our brains in which we unconsciously want to please others when in their company.
For example, our granddaughter was being bullied online when she was in high school by girls she thought were her friends.
When she finally got up the courage to confront them, they were embarrassed and apologized.
They hadn’t thought about what they were doing.
After all, they were just having a little fun and they felt anonymous and invisible . . .which is much of the motivation behind our political and social discord. Anonymity and invisibility.
When gay rights and HIV first came on our political/social scene, our little church discussed ways we wanted to respond to the newly outed and suffering gay community.
When several young men in our congregation outed themselves, the issue became very personal.
Gays were no longer “out there.” They were part of our little family.
At first, several of the old-timers, including my mother, were very critical of the LGBTQ community, but when they realized these young men whom they had learned to love and respect were gay, everything changed.
What had been an abstract issue, no longer was.
As my mother commented, “I had just assumed that anyone who is gay is automatically terrible. but they are such lovely young men.”
I was thrilled when Trump was banned from Twitter, as he daily poured thoughtless and poisonous venom into his tweets.
How I wish the media would stop covering his horrible rants, as his rants give others permission to be equally nasty.
But then we all need to be as careful and circumspect about what we write or say online as when meeting someone face to face.
I have several friends who tend to believe anything they read online and readily share it.
Fortunately, we often do things together so I feel comfortable challenging them when they tell me something truly outrageous.
There’s lots of research that documents how a simple lack of eye contact enables rudeness and encourages online trolling.
Unfortunately, nasty tweets and Facebook insults continue to make rudeness our new normal.
Without the emotional cues that we can see, (body language, eye contact, voice modulations, etc.) we’re left with only words on a screen which leads to detachment and emotional indifference.to know
It may seem like a simple thing, but if each of us decided to actually go out and interact with others, we might be surprised at how much better we felt about ourselves, let alone and others. Most of us would be far less fearful and prejudiced if we actively engaged with people directly.
Afterall, Jesus tells us to judge not that we be not judged , especially with those whom we assume are different.
As Tom Purcell concludes his column, “We need to set politics aside now and then to embrace our common humanity — and relearn how to sympathize with suffering when humans are at their worst.”
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the ones I can, and the wisdom that is primarily me. Amen
Joyce Shutt is the pastor emeritus of Fairfield Mennonite Church.
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