The idea of “True Love” has always truly baffled me. I feel that the definitions are subject to generational perception, healing from a past trauma or maybe about mutual adoration for sharing memes and music with each other. To give you a context -People have married their mobile phones, divorced their dogs and even been swindled off millions all in the name of a rather tumultuous rage of hormones in the brain. How the ever unquenching qualm in the quest of something rare can drive people to such lengths is beyond my brain’s capacity. Or so I thought…
So, when I was recommended to watch the ‘Tinder Swindler’ on Netflix, my initial thought was; “Okay, I don’t even believe in “Online Dating” (because obviously I am going to magically meet a stranger-made-best friend on an adventure far-off and live my fairytale romance under the stars).”
But setting aside my abhorrence for an algorithmic money making monkey business, I watched the documentary with bursts of shock waves, a complete regurgitation of congenital trust issues, and absolute disgust for debt laws worldwide!
Like I said, the idea of ‘swipe into your soulmate’ just doesn’t sit with me. But, acting upon my human psyche I immediately framed myself into a similar situation and made a complete bulletproof plan to put into action if need be. I knew I wouldn’t get swindled on the pretext of love because I am a middle-class Indian student who has recently learnt that CTC and in-hand salary is a lie, much like the credo of social media influencers- they are both not uniformly divisible. So, I would at most send the fellow a GIF of ‘Dekh Bhai’ and laugh on being broke by capitalism.
However, I bet the women and men who got conned by this up roaring cataclysmic love scam thought the same. 8 in 10 people who get conned are confident that they are too smart to be scammed! And when judgements are clouded by feelings of trust, friendship and respect victims just feel like they are being supportive to the person they perceive to be “someone special.” Simon Leveiv and Anna Sorokin/Delvy are few televised stories of scamsters with massive coverage, all blanketed with brands, lavish lifestyles and gram-worthy photos. You can leverage their fake identities from social media, right?
But, hey picture this…a bespectacled 66 yr. old, 5ft 2inch, toothbrush mustache man in India conned 27 women, defrauded 13 banks in Kerala, 128 forged credit cards and swindled crores from women and families who trusted Ramesh Kuman Swain alias Bibhu because of his government job!
Now being called the Desi Tinder Swindler, Mr. Swain from Bhubaneshwar, Odisha when caught had nothing but an innocent smile on his face. A puzzled squad of policemen were left speechless when they understood that the conman they had been chasing for 8 months was a little Indian man with auricular hypertrichosis.
Many cases of romance fraud become a full-fledged wedding affair in India and that is where ‘Dolly Ki Doli’ makes an entry. But here, Tanmay Goswamy had different plans when in 2018 he conned 8 women of Rs.1.5 crs with ease and charm using Matrimonial sites no less. Apparently a chunk of women hunting for husbands on matrimonial still tick off the boxes with Engineers and Doctors first! Baaki Ram bharose.
What next, Tanmay played his lone hand in Hyderabad, Delhi, Kolkata, Bengaluru and Chennai overconfident that the women would not come ahead and report a case against his identity. As of 2021, romance scams have surged up to 80% higher than the previous year. It reached a record high of 1.3 Billion dollars in 2021.Data from the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) highlights that romance scams in the US cause higher losses compared to any other scam. A research from Pew, states that the Lockdown during the pandemic motivated many to explore online via social media or dating/matrimonial sites to find someone to talk to and maybe more.
But for scammers who lack empathy and remorse it was just a creamy business opportunity.
Dr. Robert Ciadlini, a psychologist who specializes in the science of influence lists the 6 principles of a scammer:
1. Reciprocity of gestures
2. Consistency in communication
3. Social Proofs of a lavish lifestyle
4. Liking on the basis of friendship/ familial bonds
5. Authority or Power display
6. Rarity of a repetition
A dark spectrum of tactics used to make you believe that you can/should trust them in all aspects and financial help is after all only an “us’ thing and will get resolved soon! There is no answer to “why he/she broke my heart and my bank balance.” But, I am sure people come out of it with a better sense of humor if not a longer moratorium period. And I am no expert in the concept of the heart or Anup Soni from Crime Patrol, but I just want to say ‘Savdhan Rahe, Satark Rahe.’
Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
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